(August 22, 2006)
Recently with everything going on, I've become a little hesitant about sharing my writing--- very hesitant actually. Not exactly sure as to why so hesitant and I am working on overcoming my little insecurities and writing anyway. So bear with me if it takes me a few entries to get back up to speed on this.
At the moment there are a few things going on; I just finished my summer internship for Sen. Brownback on "the Hill" in DC, I returned last week and immediately started work at my mom's grade school (just for the week--- they needed a little extra help in the front office), in five days is my brother Mike's wedding, in 12 days I will head back to Europe where I will be "briefed" concerning my new post and position before heading to Isiro, DR Congo for the next 1-2 years, and in November my brother Kyle, sister-in-law Lori and nephew Aidan will be adding a new member to their family--- Keagan Matthew Fleming. He's over in China at the moment, but the three of them are going to pick him up and bring him home in November. The family continues to get bigger and bigger, which is always nice and fun to be around, I am only sorry I am not around for it all. But I always enjoy my time when I am here so I make-up for lost time.
Things seem in-line for the wedding at the moment. Weddings are always such an occasion though--- tons of people, food, drink, such a celebration, so I am looking forward to the weekend. And it will be nice to see everyone before taking off again.
As far as heading back to Africa, overall I feel pretty relaxed at this point; some anxieties, but for the most part I know and understand what I am getting myself into and I am excited about the work. I understand that it will be tougher in ways I never fathomed, I understand that the concept of "relief work" is going to have a rude awakening for me, I know my head will pound with headaches at night due to my initial language barrier, grasping the day-to-day, trying to keep my "head above water" with my new position, and I know my heart will ache for home from time-to-time, but.... having said all of that, I am ready to go and ready to get to work.
My summer in Senator Brownback's office in DC was brilliant. It gave me an understanding of policy making, it awoke me to more humanitarian issues (which should not be forgotten), it allowed me to see and be a part of the behind the scenes work, which I really enjoyed, and the best part was I felt pushed and challenged everyday when researching different issues--- looking for the road to make things better is NOT always easy in very complicated issues. Our politicians have a tough job and while I cannot speak from any experience with others, from my experience with Senator Brownback... I am a fan. He stands by things because he believes that is what is right, not because it will gain him votes. He is a man of great character, humility and just the real deal. I may not agree with him on every issue but then... I don't agree with my dad on every issue. I just have a great deal of respect for Senator Brownback AND his staff. It was a great office to work in and I am glad I went beyond party-lines for the experience.
As far as things with heading off to the Congo in 12 days... I am more worried about things and people left behind than going forth. Missing out on life back home is always very hard on me, but... for some reason I continue to go. I am madly in love with my friends and family here, there will be new nieces and nephews to arrive while I am away, people will grow and possibly forget, others will become busy in their day-to-day and life DOES go on---as it should. But whether your in Edinburgh, Scotland, or Isiro, DR Congo, you DO dream about home and somewhat romanticize it. Just as people romanticize life abroad, those of us abroad romanticize life near friends and family back home. And while we may miss events like Christmas or birthdays, we cling to those "little things" that others so easily take forgranted. I've noticed that I have already started "tucking away" certain bits and pieces of my time here to remember and take with me.
Friday night I was babysitting my nephew Aidan and he woke up just before his parents arrived home, so I went up to rub his back, sing, and lay with him--- those are things I rarely get to do for him. So when my brother Kyle said "just stay here, it's late", I started welling up and could only mutter thru the tears "I never get to do that."
Sunday night I was at the local catholic high school's annual fall Booster Picnic. You couldn't have paid me to go when I was in college, but now with my cousins standing up there, the group of kids whom I helped coach during track season, etc---- I love going just to watch them. And on the way home, I again got choked up about it just thankful I had the opportunity to see them introduced, stand up there with their friends, visit with their parents, to watch them while they grow. I got to visit to with a few of the girls individually and that always means the world to me; just to hear them go on about their days and what fills them.
Yesterday morning I had coffee with my dad at our little coffee place in town, yesterday afternoon I had lunch with my mom in her classroom, last night I had dinner with my aunt and uncle, and this morning I ran with my aunt/ godmom--- it's always the little things that get me and stay with me the most. Not some fancy event, but just a little quality time with people I love --- that's what I tend to carry with me when I am away; those are the pictures and special events that tend to go everywhere with me. I laugh because people think I am a good influence on them, but truth be told they are the good influences for me. Anymore it doesn't seem to matter the age of the person I am around---from 2 to 16 to 26 to 47 to 96--- I learn from everyone of all ages and I enjoy my time with people from all ranges. Even my mom's 6th graders teach me a thing or two from time-to-time. We'd be amazed at what we can learn from others if we simply opened our eyes and ears to them.
Monday, August 14, 2006
Friday, June 16, 2006
Geneva, Switzerland
(please excuse any typos---the swiss keyboard is a little tricky)
So it seems I have gotten my feet back under me. I sent what I thought to be a rather frazzled email this morning, but after waundering around this city, I feel much better about things. This is easily one of the most impacting cities I have ever walked thru. I cannot even do justice to its beauty, its essence, the multi-cultuarlism going on here, even the peacefulness of it all. It's humbling to even walk amongst it all. Maybe that is why training is here.
I grabbed a sandwich, banana, and grapefruit juice from a grocer and picked my way thru the height of the buildings and found the water this afternoon. Lac Leman (I think that is the name) is beautiful as it divides the city. I sat at the edge of the water, with a lush green park to my back, and stared out across the water. I sat there watching the sailboats go by in front of me as the air was filled with the school children playing and yelling in French right behind me. The other half of the city is engrossed by the mountains which stand tall and upright behind it. Just truly memorizing and rather peaceful. I ran thru a roll of film this afternoon with ease.
The walk along the water was full of a display of UN human rights articles and pictures from around the world. To the left was the water, numerous different bodies out catching the sun, boats and the other half of the city surrounded by the mountains. To the left was the centre of city, traffic, gorgeous architecture (sp?) seen in numerous building, UN articles and photos from around the world, and tourists taking it all in. I just walked along, not saying anything but rather in awe of it all. It just has a different feel than other cities--- can't put my finger on it just yet, but I like the feeling the city gives off.
Off to meet Nadine...
So it seems I have gotten my feet back under me. I sent what I thought to be a rather frazzled email this morning, but after waundering around this city, I feel much better about things. This is easily one of the most impacting cities I have ever walked thru. I cannot even do justice to its beauty, its essence, the multi-cultuarlism going on here, even the peacefulness of it all. It's humbling to even walk amongst it all. Maybe that is why training is here.
I grabbed a sandwich, banana, and grapefruit juice from a grocer and picked my way thru the height of the buildings and found the water this afternoon. Lac Leman (I think that is the name) is beautiful as it divides the city. I sat at the edge of the water, with a lush green park to my back, and stared out across the water. I sat there watching the sailboats go by in front of me as the air was filled with the school children playing and yelling in French right behind me. The other half of the city is engrossed by the mountains which stand tall and upright behind it. Just truly memorizing and rather peaceful. I ran thru a roll of film this afternoon with ease.
The walk along the water was full of a display of UN human rights articles and pictures from around the world. To the left was the water, numerous different bodies out catching the sun, boats and the other half of the city surrounded by the mountains. To the left was the centre of city, traffic, gorgeous architecture (sp?) seen in numerous building, UN articles and photos from around the world, and tourists taking it all in. I just walked along, not saying anything but rather in awe of it all. It just has a different feel than other cities--- can't put my finger on it just yet, but I like the feeling the city gives off.
Off to meet Nadine...
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Feltwell, England
I arrived in Feltwell early yesterday evening. In many ways it feels as if it's been forever since I was here last but then when I saw Danette, she gave me a big hug and said "All three of the girls are home!" It's kind of hard not to feel at home after hearing that.
Feltwell is the small village where my cousins the Keegan's live. This was my "home away from home" last year while I was in Scotland. I spent numerous weekends, holidays, and a few long weeks of writing here last summer. They (Mike and Danette) work on the US Air Force Base just nearby but live in Feltwell. The girls (Maggie and Annie) basically grew up in the English countryside, while going to school on the base. They are a great group to be around; smart, intelligent, fun, easy, and just make you feel right at home. It's great to see and be with my family here again.
The girls (Mags and Annie) both just returned early Monday morning from Uni back in the States---Washington to be exact. I arrived yesterday afternoon/evening, so in a few ways it is as if we are all getting back at the same time. Especially since Maggie and I left about the same time last fall. I took the opportunity to see them all now because when I am done in Geneva, they will be on their family holiday to China--- 10 days. Mike and Danette are still in school, but the girls and I are headed to Cambridge this afternoon. A friend of mine from Uni last year is now at Cambridge, so I might try and see him while we are there.
Nothing else to report really. I got up just before 8am and went for a run this morning, which felt nice. It's nice and cool here--- I even saw my breath during my run. I was a little worried that something was wrong as I got the plane Monday night and felt sticky and muggy. Thought England had gone and changed its weather patterns on me. They were having "record" heat waves of 32'C (89.8'F) and it was sunny. I had been looking forward to the nice cool, rainy weather and sure enough--- it changed to just that last evening. Slept with the windows open, snuggled under my down comforter last night.
My time with my friends Hannah and Renee was wonderful in London. They picked me up from the airport and I am eternally greatful to them, especially since they live on the OTHER SIDE of London. They took me around their cute and adorable neighborhood of Greenwich yesterday morning and then we stopped for breakfast where I had tea and porridge. Last year they lived in York, so I saw them from time-to-time when I was passing through. I'll see them again in two weeks and stay with them before I head back to DC. We met at the camp for peopled with disabilities I worked at in upstate New York five years ago and have just stayed in touch since. Yesterday we started talking about camp and how we all greatly missed it.
Talk of summer camps is always one thing, but this was not your typical summer camp. You would work 14-16 hr days and never think twice of it. Many meals you wouldn't get a chance to eat because you were too busy feeding your guests or making sure they had eaten, but it never seemed to phase you. I think my first guest "Joe", a 67 yr.-old man, taught me more about myself than I could have learned anywhere else. Joe had cerebral palsy, a speech impediment, used a wheel-chair and a catheter. He also had unlimited amounts of patience. The first few days he would say something to me and I had no clue what he was saying. Due to embarassment because I couldn't figure out what he was saying, I just acted like I knew what he was saying, but then I would always screw up whatever he had requested. After a long two days together, Joe didn't seem to want to go to the evening activity and we just sat at the cabin. I couldn't figure out why, because he so loved being around everyone. So after everyone left, he started to talk with me. There is a difference; he wasn't talking to me, but with me. There was nothing for me to do but listen... learn. It wasn't that Joe didn't want to do the group activity that night, he just wanted to help me get over my own insecurities of my lack of understanding towards him. He helped me understand. Once my ears opened up and heard what he was saying, it was as if nothing was muttled or muttered again... everything was very crisp and clear. I think having Joe as my first guest that summer made my summer much smoother than it should have been.
Ren and Hannah always do that to me; they trigger memories or events from that summer which I had not thought about in a while. I miss my one-on-one time working with people who have disabilities--- it's a very real and grounded type of work. Extremely fun and rewarding as well. I suppose in more ways than I can imagine, it has helped get me to where I am today. While I am thankful for that, I am more thankful for the lessons and smiles it has left with me.
Feltwell is the small village where my cousins the Keegan's live. This was my "home away from home" last year while I was in Scotland. I spent numerous weekends, holidays, and a few long weeks of writing here last summer. They (Mike and Danette) work on the US Air Force Base just nearby but live in Feltwell. The girls (Maggie and Annie) basically grew up in the English countryside, while going to school on the base. They are a great group to be around; smart, intelligent, fun, easy, and just make you feel right at home. It's great to see and be with my family here again.
The girls (Mags and Annie) both just returned early Monday morning from Uni back in the States---Washington to be exact. I arrived yesterday afternoon/evening, so in a few ways it is as if we are all getting back at the same time. Especially since Maggie and I left about the same time last fall. I took the opportunity to see them all now because when I am done in Geneva, they will be on their family holiday to China--- 10 days. Mike and Danette are still in school, but the girls and I are headed to Cambridge this afternoon. A friend of mine from Uni last year is now at Cambridge, so I might try and see him while we are there.
Nothing else to report really. I got up just before 8am and went for a run this morning, which felt nice. It's nice and cool here--- I even saw my breath during my run. I was a little worried that something was wrong as I got the plane Monday night and felt sticky and muggy. Thought England had gone and changed its weather patterns on me. They were having "record" heat waves of 32'C (89.8'F) and it was sunny. I had been looking forward to the nice cool, rainy weather and sure enough--- it changed to just that last evening. Slept with the windows open, snuggled under my down comforter last night.
My time with my friends Hannah and Renee was wonderful in London. They picked me up from the airport and I am eternally greatful to them, especially since they live on the OTHER SIDE of London. They took me around their cute and adorable neighborhood of Greenwich yesterday morning and then we stopped for breakfast where I had tea and porridge. Last year they lived in York, so I saw them from time-to-time when I was passing through. I'll see them again in two weeks and stay with them before I head back to DC. We met at the camp for peopled with disabilities I worked at in upstate New York five years ago and have just stayed in touch since. Yesterday we started talking about camp and how we all greatly missed it.
Talk of summer camps is always one thing, but this was not your typical summer camp. You would work 14-16 hr days and never think twice of it. Many meals you wouldn't get a chance to eat because you were too busy feeding your guests or making sure they had eaten, but it never seemed to phase you. I think my first guest "Joe", a 67 yr.-old man, taught me more about myself than I could have learned anywhere else. Joe had cerebral palsy, a speech impediment, used a wheel-chair and a catheter. He also had unlimited amounts of patience. The first few days he would say something to me and I had no clue what he was saying. Due to embarassment because I couldn't figure out what he was saying, I just acted like I knew what he was saying, but then I would always screw up whatever he had requested. After a long two days together, Joe didn't seem to want to go to the evening activity and we just sat at the cabin. I couldn't figure out why, because he so loved being around everyone. So after everyone left, he started to talk with me. There is a difference; he wasn't talking to me, but with me. There was nothing for me to do but listen... learn. It wasn't that Joe didn't want to do the group activity that night, he just wanted to help me get over my own insecurities of my lack of understanding towards him. He helped me understand. Once my ears opened up and heard what he was saying, it was as if nothing was muttled or muttered again... everything was very crisp and clear. I think having Joe as my first guest that summer made my summer much smoother than it should have been.
Ren and Hannah always do that to me; they trigger memories or events from that summer which I had not thought about in a while. I miss my one-on-one time working with people who have disabilities--- it's a very real and grounded type of work. Extremely fun and rewarding as well. I suppose in more ways than I can imagine, it has helped get me to where I am today. While I am thankful for that, I am more thankful for the lessons and smiles it has left with me.
Monday, May 29, 2006
The Summer Odyssey begins
So we'll see how long I keep up with this. It's literally been 10-11 months since I last wrote. I became so bogged-down towards the end of my dissertation write-up that I allowed no time for anything other than my dissertation. Since then I've been home and I think part of me doesn't write on here when I am home because most of the people who might even attempt at reading this blog are FROM home. I am self-conscious enough about my writing, so it doesn't surprise me that I haven't "blogged" while I've been here. However, I have 12 days left here so... to no surprise I am ready to pick-it-up again.
I have kept myself fairly busy over the past nine months, even managed to save a little money (which unfortunately will be spent over the summer), and couldn't have dreamt of a better visit home with family and friends. "Home" is amazing in that respect; just when you think you know everything there is to know about it, it sneaks up and surprises you with new issues, new events, new people or simply gives you the opportunity to reconnect with people or a part of your life you had not seen or dealt with in a while. In my case, it's all of the above and all which I am extremely thankful for. From giving me a chance to connect with young people through track, to bringing a new sister-in-law into the family, to becoming TRULY aware of what it's like to be an aunt and to go through wihtdrawl when I don't get to see Aidan every few days, to simply reconnecting with my community and the people here---- I wouldn't trade-off the past nine months for the world.
But in that same breath, I know it's time to go again. Things have lined themselves up and I am ready to get in over my head again. Which is precisely what I think I am about to do. The itinerary for the next 2 months is a bit...exciting and exhausting just to think about, but I am looking forward to the learning experience. I am slightly worried that I am not up to par on issues like I wish I was or maybe should be. I feel I know what I am talking about when it comes to concerns of Eastern Congo, but move me much outside of that or Africa in general and I am a rather useless resource. So I've tried reading up more on and more on issues and events in our world again, I only wish I had more time. This isn't a test to see what kind of grade I'll get, this is test to see where I'll end up over the next 15 months.
So here's the layout for the next two months and then afterwards:
10-12 June: Washington, DC. Dropping a bag of clothes, meeting girl who I am subletting from for the summer, seeing a few friends.
12-16 June: England, UK. I fly into London that Monday where I'll spend the night with friends and then the next day will head out to the English countryside where I'll stay with family for a few days.
16-25 June: Geneva, Switzerland. I have a training (mental, physical, emotional, field type of training) there with a non-governmental organization by the name of Medair. Assuming the training goes well, I'll start working with them as a field-worker in September. (Both sides feel that work in September is nearly a done deal, I just have to do well at the training. I actually feel pretty relaxed about it at this point.)
25-28 June: Back to the UK. I was thinking of finding a hostel in Southern France (probably in Lyons) and staying there by myself for the remainder of my time but in Europe but what can I say... I am a family girl and I really want to see my "Edinburgh family" before I return to the States. I've missed them terribly these past nine months. While some will not be there (due to being in the field for research or having moved elsewhere), it will be nice to be our city again. So I'll head north to Scotland for a few days to be pampered by friends who are still there, cooked for, walks up Arthur's Seat, afternoons in the park, maybe even catch a play, and taken to some of my favorite pubs in the world before returning to the States. There really is no place like Edinuburgh!!
28 June- 18 August: Washington, DC. I have an internship in DC for the summer with Senator Sam Brownback. I have been placed on the human rights caucas of his office for my short 7-8 weeks duration there. The big question will be to see whether I can be of use to them or if I am just making them coffee. Either way, I am sure to learn a ton. And I do make a mean pot of coffee, so if that's what it comes to I'll still keep them happy. I realize that Brownback is a republican and I am democrat but I really just want to look past party division and see the bigger picture at stake; the work and collarboration between parties in doing this work. I am pretty nervous about my internship with Brownback's office, but I am bound to gain a ton from my short stay there.
19 August- early September??: Home. Pittsburg, KS. My brother is engaged and getting married on the 26th of the month and I wouldn't miss the wedding for anything. I couldn't be happier for him. He is extremely happy and my future sis-in-law is fabulous. I imagine that Medair and I will have sorted thru a few things and will have come up with a departure date by then. I should also know where I am headed at that point. It seems as if right now there are a few possibilities, those being Afghanistan, Pakistan, Sudan, and DR Congo. Having just been in DR Congo a year ago, I would greatly like to return there, work there and get a better feeling for the people and situation there. The situation, the country and especially the people kind of stole my heart a year ago and I would greatly like to return there. But... time will tell. It wouldn't surprise me if Medair put together a relief team in Indonesia with the recent earthquake and I ended up there for a year.
I realize that numerous people think of me as a "traveller" which I can understand to a point. When I say I work with women and children of war-torn countries, a popular response is "oh you are such an adventurer." To me the work makes perfect sense and I could not imagine doing anything else right now, to others it SOUNDS as if it appears as a reason to go travel. To be quite honest, the "travel" schedule I have for the next two months is if nothing else exhausting to even think about. I greatly look foward to being in one place and working there for a while, without having to go from place to place to make things come together, while lugging 2-4 bags around. It's not to say that I am not thankful for the things I have seen, the education I have been blessed with, and the events I have encountered, but "travelling" like this is not quite the romantic picture we sometimes paint it to be.
My heart has a second home in Africa, in someways it has a first home there. That continent and the people there have probably given me more than I will ever be able to give them, but that doesn't mean I have to stop trying. I enjoy working alongside them and will do what it takes to get back to them. In many ways I feel very "green" there--- as if I have barely touched the surface on the issues there and that I still have so much to learn. But I also feel ready to grow in that sense simply because I have been building a base for the past few years when it comes to my knowledge concerning Africa.
So on that note, I am very ready to return--- assuming they are ready to take me. I only have a few stops first...
I have kept myself fairly busy over the past nine months, even managed to save a little money (which unfortunately will be spent over the summer), and couldn't have dreamt of a better visit home with family and friends. "Home" is amazing in that respect; just when you think you know everything there is to know about it, it sneaks up and surprises you with new issues, new events, new people or simply gives you the opportunity to reconnect with people or a part of your life you had not seen or dealt with in a while. In my case, it's all of the above and all which I am extremely thankful for. From giving me a chance to connect with young people through track, to bringing a new sister-in-law into the family, to becoming TRULY aware of what it's like to be an aunt and to go through wihtdrawl when I don't get to see Aidan every few days, to simply reconnecting with my community and the people here---- I wouldn't trade-off the past nine months for the world.
But in that same breath, I know it's time to go again. Things have lined themselves up and I am ready to get in over my head again. Which is precisely what I think I am about to do. The itinerary for the next 2 months is a bit...exciting and exhausting just to think about, but I am looking forward to the learning experience. I am slightly worried that I am not up to par on issues like I wish I was or maybe should be. I feel I know what I am talking about when it comes to concerns of Eastern Congo, but move me much outside of that or Africa in general and I am a rather useless resource. So I've tried reading up more on and more on issues and events in our world again, I only wish I had more time. This isn't a test to see what kind of grade I'll get, this is test to see where I'll end up over the next 15 months.
So here's the layout for the next two months and then afterwards:
10-12 June: Washington, DC. Dropping a bag of clothes, meeting girl who I am subletting from for the summer, seeing a few friends.
12-16 June: England, UK. I fly into London that Monday where I'll spend the night with friends and then the next day will head out to the English countryside where I'll stay with family for a few days.
16-25 June: Geneva, Switzerland. I have a training (mental, physical, emotional, field type of training) there with a non-governmental organization by the name of Medair. Assuming the training goes well, I'll start working with them as a field-worker in September. (Both sides feel that work in September is nearly a done deal, I just have to do well at the training. I actually feel pretty relaxed about it at this point.)
25-28 June: Back to the UK. I was thinking of finding a hostel in Southern France (probably in Lyons) and staying there by myself for the remainder of my time but in Europe but what can I say... I am a family girl and I really want to see my "Edinburgh family" before I return to the States. I've missed them terribly these past nine months. While some will not be there (due to being in the field for research or having moved elsewhere), it will be nice to be our city again. So I'll head north to Scotland for a few days to be pampered by friends who are still there, cooked for, walks up Arthur's Seat, afternoons in the park, maybe even catch a play, and taken to some of my favorite pubs in the world before returning to the States. There really is no place like Edinuburgh!!
28 June- 18 August: Washington, DC. I have an internship in DC for the summer with Senator Sam Brownback. I have been placed on the human rights caucas of his office for my short 7-8 weeks duration there. The big question will be to see whether I can be of use to them or if I am just making them coffee. Either way, I am sure to learn a ton. And I do make a mean pot of coffee, so if that's what it comes to I'll still keep them happy. I realize that Brownback is a republican and I am democrat but I really just want to look past party division and see the bigger picture at stake; the work and collarboration between parties in doing this work. I am pretty nervous about my internship with Brownback's office, but I am bound to gain a ton from my short stay there.
19 August- early September??: Home. Pittsburg, KS. My brother is engaged and getting married on the 26th of the month and I wouldn't miss the wedding for anything. I couldn't be happier for him. He is extremely happy and my future sis-in-law is fabulous. I imagine that Medair and I will have sorted thru a few things and will have come up with a departure date by then. I should also know where I am headed at that point. It seems as if right now there are a few possibilities, those being Afghanistan, Pakistan, Sudan, and DR Congo. Having just been in DR Congo a year ago, I would greatly like to return there, work there and get a better feeling for the people and situation there. The situation, the country and especially the people kind of stole my heart a year ago and I would greatly like to return there. But... time will tell. It wouldn't surprise me if Medair put together a relief team in Indonesia with the recent earthquake and I ended up there for a year.
I realize that numerous people think of me as a "traveller" which I can understand to a point. When I say I work with women and children of war-torn countries, a popular response is "oh you are such an adventurer." To me the work makes perfect sense and I could not imagine doing anything else right now, to others it SOUNDS as if it appears as a reason to go travel. To be quite honest, the "travel" schedule I have for the next two months is if nothing else exhausting to even think about. I greatly look foward to being in one place and working there for a while, without having to go from place to place to make things come together, while lugging 2-4 bags around. It's not to say that I am not thankful for the things I have seen, the education I have been blessed with, and the events I have encountered, but "travelling" like this is not quite the romantic picture we sometimes paint it to be.
My heart has a second home in Africa, in someways it has a first home there. That continent and the people there have probably given me more than I will ever be able to give them, but that doesn't mean I have to stop trying. I enjoy working alongside them and will do what it takes to get back to them. In many ways I feel very "green" there--- as if I have barely touched the surface on the issues there and that I still have so much to learn. But I also feel ready to grow in that sense simply because I have been building a base for the past few years when it comes to my knowledge concerning Africa.
So on that note, I am very ready to return--- assuming they are ready to take me. I only have a few stops first...
Monday, July 25, 2005
the difficulty in writing-up
So, I have been back from my research for about two months now. The first month, I, unfortunately allowed myself to get swiftly caught back up in my life here in Edinburgh. And I love Edinburgh. I love my friends here, I love living in this city, I even love the fact that it's late-July and it's it's easily fleece or sweater weather at this point. But writing up... I have been avoiding that.
Not really sure why I am on here writing about it, because truthfully, I am not a big fan of the "blog". I started this to allow my parents and close friends a way to keep tabs on me while I was away. And now that I am back, I read over what I read and just shake my head. This blog, while partially truthful, is also very editted. I felt it had to be to keep people more at ease while I was away. Not that things were dreadful and as I have said before, DR Congo gets a bad wrap. But there were also incidents that were best left unmentioned or unsaid there. You'd have to either be there to understand them OR have a good enough writer to explain them without confusion. And I am not that good of a writer unfortunately.
But writing up now, I find it terribly ironical. Something I wrote about last week in my journal, as I was trying to get a bit of work done. Probably shouldn't share it, but I will.
*** 19 July 2005
More should be written about where and how research is written up AFTER returning from the field. It’s a Tuesday morning and I find myself sitting in Starbuck’s with my friend Sara (we were in need of a change of environment), running through my tapes from the field--- journals, music from the wedding I attended, interviews, etc. As I look out the windows here in the upstairs of Starbucks on the Royal Mile, I see a woman in the building across the street leaning out the window and doing a bit of people watching herself. However, my mind, memory and ears are full of some of the music from the wedding I attended in Goma. I can picture the choir up in front of the church as they sing and dance, their lungs full of song. All dressed alike in their pea-green skirts, pants and shirts. On the tape, I hear Virginé lean over to explain the song to me as it is all in Swahili.
So where do people write-up? What is their environment? How do they recap their moments from the field to put their thoughts, knowledge or material down onto paper to share with others? Cafés seem to be a popular place around the world--- according to J.K. Rowling, a café here in Edinburgh is where a bit of Harry Potter's story was written and look at it today. But thinking of Harry here in Edinburgh is possibly more conceivable than thinking of nationalism among Zambian’s with Asian desent, or prostitution among women in Senegal, or the reintegration for women back into their communities who have been sexually abused and raped due to the conflict areas and war zones they find themselves in. So… in an attempt to take me back two months (which I can’t believe it’s truly been two months since I was in the DRC), I have taken a moment to listen to one of the three songs I listened to while I was in Goma. You’ve Got Me by Roots and Eryka Badu--- it was one of the only songs I would listen to when listening to my “comfort” music. It takes me to my room in the Lusi house, the sounds of Lake Kivu crashing up against the volcanic rock shoreline next to the house, journaling next to candlelight as the electricity had gone out for the night, the sounds of that one mosquito that buzzed around my face and ears night after night within my mosquito net, even takes me back to the lighting in my bathroom there--- the dimness that it was--- as I would try and hand wash my clothes but not be able fully get them rinsed as the water always seemed dirtier from having rinsed them.
What is my point here? How we can claim to write about such topics in such obscure places, like the comfort of our rooms or libraries? Writing about Africa from the comforts of Edinburgh or London? Sitting in our cafés with our lattes and teas, as those we are writing about find themselves in a completely different circumstances, environments, etc. Is this another hierarchy of north over south, that we think with a few weeks or months of spending time in those environments, that simply enables us to return to our home environments and portray or illustrate the societies or circumstances there which they live in day-to-day... and which we only visit? ***
Maybe it would have been better to stay in my environment there, to see things on a day-to-day basis, to keep focus on the reality of the situation there so maybe the reality would be seen in my dissertation as well. I don't know. But what I do know is that I find it rather delusional to be writing up from the comfort of my room, or a coffee shop, or even the library right now on such a topic which evolves around a situation and lives miles away. And it's their story that matters, not my own. But yet, I am in my own comfort zone when writing about them---- maybe if I was in their comfort zone, I would see a bit more of the reality of the situation.
I have also been wanting to post my pictures to share with people, but I also do not want them to come across in the wrong manner. Africa is strong in it's own regard, much stronger then credit it is given. While I can incapture the environment's and setting's which my photos were taken in, I am not sure how to post them and be able to do the same thing for those who see them. And I wouldn't want to do anything BUT to allow others that same opportunity; to see that environment, even if only in your head because otherwise you will never see the picture for what it is.
So until I figure all of this out, I'll wait. I'll continue to write, shuffling words here and there, not properly giving or rather getting justice to where it is deserved, but trying nonetheless. Frustration, I would imagine is all part of the process. Or I am hoping, at this point...
Not really sure why I am on here writing about it, because truthfully, I am not a big fan of the "blog". I started this to allow my parents and close friends a way to keep tabs on me while I was away. And now that I am back, I read over what I read and just shake my head. This blog, while partially truthful, is also very editted. I felt it had to be to keep people more at ease while I was away. Not that things were dreadful and as I have said before, DR Congo gets a bad wrap. But there were also incidents that were best left unmentioned or unsaid there. You'd have to either be there to understand them OR have a good enough writer to explain them without confusion. And I am not that good of a writer unfortunately.
But writing up now, I find it terribly ironical. Something I wrote about last week in my journal, as I was trying to get a bit of work done. Probably shouldn't share it, but I will.
*** 19 July 2005
More should be written about where and how research is written up AFTER returning from the field. It’s a Tuesday morning and I find myself sitting in Starbuck’s with my friend Sara (we were in need of a change of environment), running through my tapes from the field--- journals, music from the wedding I attended, interviews, etc. As I look out the windows here in the upstairs of Starbucks on the Royal Mile, I see a woman in the building across the street leaning out the window and doing a bit of people watching herself. However, my mind, memory and ears are full of some of the music from the wedding I attended in Goma. I can picture the choir up in front of the church as they sing and dance, their lungs full of song. All dressed alike in their pea-green skirts, pants and shirts. On the tape, I hear Virginé lean over to explain the song to me as it is all in Swahili.
So where do people write-up? What is their environment? How do they recap their moments from the field to put their thoughts, knowledge or material down onto paper to share with others? Cafés seem to be a popular place around the world--- according to J.K. Rowling, a café here in Edinburgh is where a bit of Harry Potter's story was written and look at it today. But thinking of Harry here in Edinburgh is possibly more conceivable than thinking of nationalism among Zambian’s with Asian desent, or prostitution among women in Senegal, or the reintegration for women back into their communities who have been sexually abused and raped due to the conflict areas and war zones they find themselves in. So… in an attempt to take me back two months (which I can’t believe it’s truly been two months since I was in the DRC), I have taken a moment to listen to one of the three songs I listened to while I was in Goma. You’ve Got Me by Roots and Eryka Badu--- it was one of the only songs I would listen to when listening to my “comfort” music. It takes me to my room in the Lusi house, the sounds of Lake Kivu crashing up against the volcanic rock shoreline next to the house, journaling next to candlelight as the electricity had gone out for the night, the sounds of that one mosquito that buzzed around my face and ears night after night within my mosquito net, even takes me back to the lighting in my bathroom there--- the dimness that it was--- as I would try and hand wash my clothes but not be able fully get them rinsed as the water always seemed dirtier from having rinsed them.
What is my point here? How we can claim to write about such topics in such obscure places, like the comfort of our rooms or libraries? Writing about Africa from the comforts of Edinburgh or London? Sitting in our cafés with our lattes and teas, as those we are writing about find themselves in a completely different circumstances, environments, etc. Is this another hierarchy of north over south, that we think with a few weeks or months of spending time in those environments, that simply enables us to return to our home environments and portray or illustrate the societies or circumstances there which they live in day-to-day... and which we only visit? ***
Maybe it would have been better to stay in my environment there, to see things on a day-to-day basis, to keep focus on the reality of the situation there so maybe the reality would be seen in my dissertation as well. I don't know. But what I do know is that I find it rather delusional to be writing up from the comfort of my room, or a coffee shop, or even the library right now on such a topic which evolves around a situation and lives miles away. And it's their story that matters, not my own. But yet, I am in my own comfort zone when writing about them---- maybe if I was in their comfort zone, I would see a bit more of the reality of the situation.
I have also been wanting to post my pictures to share with people, but I also do not want them to come across in the wrong manner. Africa is strong in it's own regard, much stronger then credit it is given. While I can incapture the environment's and setting's which my photos were taken in, I am not sure how to post them and be able to do the same thing for those who see them. And I wouldn't want to do anything BUT to allow others that same opportunity; to see that environment, even if only in your head because otherwise you will never see the picture for what it is.
So until I figure all of this out, I'll wait. I'll continue to write, shuffling words here and there, not properly giving or rather getting justice to where it is deserved, but trying nonetheless. Frustration, I would imagine is all part of the process. Or I am hoping, at this point...
Saturday, May 28, 2005
"3 pounds for a camera"
so i am with my cousins now just outside of ely, england. and while i am here safe and sound, i cannot say the same for my luggage.
long story short, my carry-on with all of my gifts for everyone and my bday gift from shannon (a beautiful oil on canvas of a market scene by my favorite african artist) did not make it here. in fact, it was stolen in nairobi airport. my own fault. i stepped out of immigration, headed to the bureau de change to change some money over, only to find out i couldn't change rwandanese money there, had set my bag down, started to walk down to the ATM (just 20 ft away), stopped and turned around and it was already gone. checked with airport security twice, but it was never turned in so---- no gifties for anyone.
however, this story gets better. the rest of my luggage made it to london (which surprised me after the near miss experience of trying to catch my flight yesterday in nairobi) and by the time we got back to the house lastnight i was too tired to check anything. this morning, i woke up at 5am, took the lock off my smaller bag to get something out and i noticed that my camera was gone. i had wrapped it up in my rain-jacket for water protection and since i was out of film, i had decided to just throw it in my check-luggage. the camera is one thing, i can handle that but what sucks is that my last roll of film was still in there; my BEST ROLL of the gorillas!!! go figure. what i IRONICALLY found at the bottom of my bag were 6x50 pence pieces (so 3 pounds). they were not there before, because i had completely emptied the bag out before i had packed it that last time. the LOCK is not broken, but i imagine anyone is smart enough to rig a lock. it's not like it's a padlock, just one of those little luggage locks.
so i am a bit distressed about the gifts, but was defintely distressed about the film. but then again... i have all of the images in my head, i just wanted to be able to share them with everyone else. with the way international currency flows around here, i have no idea where the camera was taken out of my bag. maybe london, maybe amsterdam, maybe nairobi (although i can't imagine a ton of pence pieces flying around in nairobi). doesn't really matter 'cause it's gone.
the good news is i have my research notes, i have my audio interviews, and my other film. so... things could be much worse--- it's just a matter of perspective, i guess.
long story short, my carry-on with all of my gifts for everyone and my bday gift from shannon (a beautiful oil on canvas of a market scene by my favorite african artist) did not make it here. in fact, it was stolen in nairobi airport. my own fault. i stepped out of immigration, headed to the bureau de change to change some money over, only to find out i couldn't change rwandanese money there, had set my bag down, started to walk down to the ATM (just 20 ft away), stopped and turned around and it was already gone. checked with airport security twice, but it was never turned in so---- no gifties for anyone.
however, this story gets better. the rest of my luggage made it to london (which surprised me after the near miss experience of trying to catch my flight yesterday in nairobi) and by the time we got back to the house lastnight i was too tired to check anything. this morning, i woke up at 5am, took the lock off my smaller bag to get something out and i noticed that my camera was gone. i had wrapped it up in my rain-jacket for water protection and since i was out of film, i had decided to just throw it in my check-luggage. the camera is one thing, i can handle that but what sucks is that my last roll of film was still in there; my BEST ROLL of the gorillas!!! go figure. what i IRONICALLY found at the bottom of my bag were 6x50 pence pieces (so 3 pounds). they were not there before, because i had completely emptied the bag out before i had packed it that last time. the LOCK is not broken, but i imagine anyone is smart enough to rig a lock. it's not like it's a padlock, just one of those little luggage locks.
so i am a bit distressed about the gifts, but was defintely distressed about the film. but then again... i have all of the images in my head, i just wanted to be able to share them with everyone else. with the way international currency flows around here, i have no idea where the camera was taken out of my bag. maybe london, maybe amsterdam, maybe nairobi (although i can't imagine a ton of pence pieces flying around in nairobi). doesn't really matter 'cause it's gone.
the good news is i have my research notes, i have my audio interviews, and my other film. so... things could be much worse--- it's just a matter of perspective, i guess.
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
and the gorillas...
so, i was kind of sulking being here in Kigali. i headed to Ruhengeri (Dian Fossey land) yesterday with gorilla permit in hand, a little money, some water, and a possible change of clothes (it's truly amazing how a single pagne can be used).
had to rush around yesterday to get to Ruhengeri before dark, but no worries. made it there in plenty of time, found a place for 3500 RWF (right around $7)--- no hot water and i shared the room with a lizard, but it was great. dropped my stuff and immediately headed on a "promenade" to see this town. not a whole lot to it, but it's quaint in it's own way. i walked a few miles just checking things out, found a bouvette (imagine that), had a beer and did a little writing. later in the evening, i met up with the guy assisting me in getting a car to the park in Kinigi the next morning. Greg is an amazing character all in his own; born in a refugee camp in Uganda, his father died before his birth, his mother passed away when he was 17, and at the age of 21 he decided to come to Rwanda, since he was Rwandanese. wanted to get into the tourism business here, but had to prove himself, he lived on the street for the first few years, just running errands and doing anything he could to be noticed. now 10 years later, he is a tour guide and does a little extra work on the side, but his goal is to get his own tour company. listening to his stories, i just took everything in. we talked politics, we talked about the refugee camps, we talked about overcoming trials and tribulations. like i said, Greg is an amazing character all in his own.
so sure enough, as he promised, the driver was there at 6am to pick me up. forty-five minutes later we were at the office in kinigi, awaiting our departure groups. a car of "mzungu's" pulled up and being the only four at the office, we greeted one another. started talking and chatting, they are from NYC, just visiting their son (who was with them) who had been in J'burg for the past 8 months. they were on a 3-week tour around and on the 2nd day of gorilla visiting. they asked if i would like to join them and i kindly accepted.
we were promised "not a very long trek" and what we got was a FABULOUS and UTTERLY AMAZING MORNING!!!! we took off and had to go 20 minutes just to get to the starting point--typical, but it wasn't rough. we were going to see a pack of 10 gorillas, which included the largest silverback in the world at the moment.
when we finally got to our starting point, we were immediately in the bush. and i mean, seriously--- the THICK, THICK bush!!! there had been a fight between the main "chief" of the pack and another male in the group--- so the gorillas were on the move, which meant we were as well. they are constantly watched by trekkers for their safety these days--- poaching still being a large problem. the trekkers cut a path wide enough for my nephew Aidan (who is a year old) to pass through, of course they can get through it easily. you are literally crawling on your knees at points, or squeezing through the bamboo shoots. we had to stand for a minute as the trekkers cut through some seriously brush--- and i happened to stand RIGHT on some biting ants, which quickly made their way up my boots, in my pants and up my pants for that matter. some were nice enough to stay on the outside, but others--- they were not so nice, and they bit me for the next hour. still feeling the sensation a bit, luckily it's nothing serious and i can't help but laugh.
so then the first gorillas we see--- mother and child. agghhh... no words. sorry. you could hearing "playing" just around the corner, and sure enough, two adolescents were wrestling around and growling. the trekkers talk to the gorillas as well, which is totally cool. they move, we move. finally we get out of the bush and are literally standing on the tops of bamboo--- don't ask me how. actually, i didn't stand as much as i fell through. nice. then the "chief" called to the others so, they moved, we moved.
then we got to a point where we couldn't move anymore because there they were--- the whole clan of them. what we didn't realize was that the "chiefs" wife was just to our right and we were too close. when he saw that, he did the chiefly thing and came towards us. not aggressively, not quickly, just came towards us. he had to protect her so he put himself between us and her--- and was literally 4-5ft in front of us, speficially in front of me. in fact, i wanted to change my lense because HE WAS TOO BIG for the lense i had, but i will admit, i was too terrified. he just sat there in complete peace and looked at us straight on---- talk about chills running down my back. he's over 200 kilos (do the conversion) and massive is not a word to describe him. he was just beautiful. once she moved closer to the group, he moved with her. playtime continued for the two adolescents, as the baby clumsily climbed the bamboo and the "chief" rested from the morning's fight. at that point, there was only observing as pictures couldn't capture what we saw in front of us.
the Brody's (my fellow trackers) said that today completely beat yesterday, although yesterday was truly amazing. i had lunch with them, they gave me a lift back to Kigali and we are meeting up for dinner in about 30 minutes. it's been a great day and as my brother kyle would say, his sister's life of "leisure" continues without question. i not only saw the gorillas, but was a few feet away from the largest one in the world. it's been a memorable day.
i depart for nairobi in the morning and for london on friday morning.
had to rush around yesterday to get to Ruhengeri before dark, but no worries. made it there in plenty of time, found a place for 3500 RWF (right around $7)--- no hot water and i shared the room with a lizard, but it was great. dropped my stuff and immediately headed on a "promenade" to see this town. not a whole lot to it, but it's quaint in it's own way. i walked a few miles just checking things out, found a bouvette (imagine that), had a beer and did a little writing. later in the evening, i met up with the guy assisting me in getting a car to the park in Kinigi the next morning. Greg is an amazing character all in his own; born in a refugee camp in Uganda, his father died before his birth, his mother passed away when he was 17, and at the age of 21 he decided to come to Rwanda, since he was Rwandanese. wanted to get into the tourism business here, but had to prove himself, he lived on the street for the first few years, just running errands and doing anything he could to be noticed. now 10 years later, he is a tour guide and does a little extra work on the side, but his goal is to get his own tour company. listening to his stories, i just took everything in. we talked politics, we talked about the refugee camps, we talked about overcoming trials and tribulations. like i said, Greg is an amazing character all in his own.
so sure enough, as he promised, the driver was there at 6am to pick me up. forty-five minutes later we were at the office in kinigi, awaiting our departure groups. a car of "mzungu's" pulled up and being the only four at the office, we greeted one another. started talking and chatting, they are from NYC, just visiting their son (who was with them) who had been in J'burg for the past 8 months. they were on a 3-week tour around and on the 2nd day of gorilla visiting. they asked if i would like to join them and i kindly accepted.
we were promised "not a very long trek" and what we got was a FABULOUS and UTTERLY AMAZING MORNING!!!! we took off and had to go 20 minutes just to get to the starting point--typical, but it wasn't rough. we were going to see a pack of 10 gorillas, which included the largest silverback in the world at the moment.
when we finally got to our starting point, we were immediately in the bush. and i mean, seriously--- the THICK, THICK bush!!! there had been a fight between the main "chief" of the pack and another male in the group--- so the gorillas were on the move, which meant we were as well. they are constantly watched by trekkers for their safety these days--- poaching still being a large problem. the trekkers cut a path wide enough for my nephew Aidan (who is a year old) to pass through, of course they can get through it easily. you are literally crawling on your knees at points, or squeezing through the bamboo shoots. we had to stand for a minute as the trekkers cut through some seriously brush--- and i happened to stand RIGHT on some biting ants, which quickly made their way up my boots, in my pants and up my pants for that matter. some were nice enough to stay on the outside, but others--- they were not so nice, and they bit me for the next hour. still feeling the sensation a bit, luckily it's nothing serious and i can't help but laugh.
so then the first gorillas we see--- mother and child. agghhh... no words. sorry. you could hearing "playing" just around the corner, and sure enough, two adolescents were wrestling around and growling. the trekkers talk to the gorillas as well, which is totally cool. they move, we move. finally we get out of the bush and are literally standing on the tops of bamboo--- don't ask me how. actually, i didn't stand as much as i fell through. nice. then the "chief" called to the others so, they moved, we moved.
then we got to a point where we couldn't move anymore because there they were--- the whole clan of them. what we didn't realize was that the "chiefs" wife was just to our right and we were too close. when he saw that, he did the chiefly thing and came towards us. not aggressively, not quickly, just came towards us. he had to protect her so he put himself between us and her--- and was literally 4-5ft in front of us, speficially in front of me. in fact, i wanted to change my lense because HE WAS TOO BIG for the lense i had, but i will admit, i was too terrified. he just sat there in complete peace and looked at us straight on---- talk about chills running down my back. he's over 200 kilos (do the conversion) and massive is not a word to describe him. he was just beautiful. once she moved closer to the group, he moved with her. playtime continued for the two adolescents, as the baby clumsily climbed the bamboo and the "chief" rested from the morning's fight. at that point, there was only observing as pictures couldn't capture what we saw in front of us.
the Brody's (my fellow trackers) said that today completely beat yesterday, although yesterday was truly amazing. i had lunch with them, they gave me a lift back to Kigali and we are meeting up for dinner in about 30 minutes. it's been a great day and as my brother kyle would say, his sister's life of "leisure" continues without question. i not only saw the gorillas, but was a few feet away from the largest one in the world. it's been a memorable day.
i depart for nairobi in the morning and for london on friday morning.
Monday, May 23, 2005
my last day in Goma
so i have made it to kigali, but to be honest, i am not terribly excited to be here. 1) i am not in Congo anymore and i had really just started to get my feet planted there, 2) it means the next few days will FLY by which i am not excited about--- but again, i wish i was in Congo, 3) it means i am leaving africa yet again and i am REALLY not ready to go, and all-n-all, i just want to stay and work.
but, nonetheless, i'll be back and i know that.
so this morning i was sitting in DOCS office, visiting with Virgine (the woman from DOCS who has been assisting me a great deal with everything) when in came her regular dosage of people asking questions, making requests and so forth. i wasn't paying a great deal of attention because usually they always speak in swahili and it has nothing to do with me. i DID however notice this woman who walked in. she had a bit of a limp about her, but what really caught my eye was her smile. she had a great smile. i stood up and greeted her in swahili, which surprised her and got an even bigger smile. i usually reach out my hand to shake theirs when they come in, but for some reason i didn't with her. as she sat down, she and Virgine started visiting back and forth and Virgine let out an "Ouuu" which is usually a sign of some kind of distress within the conversation.
i looked over at the woman and noticed she had been talking with her arms a bit as well. i say arms because she had no hands. at first it didn't catch my attention, but after a few minutes i caught myself looking a bit closer and i thought "hmm, she wasn't born that way". then she pulled up the side of her pagne/ skirt to show Virgine and i her prostetic (sp?) leg. she continued talking and even though i couldn't understand the language, i understand the situation--- which Virgine quickly relayed to me. the story was simple: her situation was due to the war.
with two children already, she had been pregnant at the time and had been shot in the stomach-- lost that child and had some internal damage. she also had both hands (from about the elbow down) and one leg cut-off; wasn't sure who her perpetrators were though. i was tempted to ask whether or not she had been sexually abused as well, but at that point--- did it really matter? she was dealing with enough and it was none of my business. since that incident, she has had two MORE children, her husband is not working OR looking for food, so she felt it was her job to figure something out, and she had nothing to feed her children with. she just wanted enough to buy some cassava to sell infront of her house, so she could get money to feed the family with. i give her credit, she was thinking of how to make it sustainable.
i looked at Virgine, a Congolese woman who sees a great deal, and thought i saw her eyes welling up a bit. the woman had started to get a little choked as she told us her story and i was definitely struck by the whole situation. i hate giving money, i always feel i should be able to do more, but we both immediately did what we could for the situation. she accepted graciously and as i sat there and watched her fumble with trying to tuck the money into her pagne (cloak), i just felt overwhelmed.
to be honest, my eyes are full and i am fighting back just writing about this (but that could possibly be because i am sorry to see my time end here so quickly). these people... they are resilient, amazing, and inspirational in more ways than i can obvioulsy put into words. if nothing else, it seems to put things into perspective.
i probably couldn't help that woman out more than i did today (although i wish i coul), however, i think she helped me more than she could EVER realize. just being there, seeing the situation, seeing the work and relief to be done (development will come once things have calmed down), meeting people like that woman today with the situation she lives everyday in--- but a smile that will definitely turn your head, meeting the people in the field, seeing the passion they have for their work... how could one not want to return?
to be a part of that, i would be more than fortunate in many ways, which i can't even begin to describe. but for one, i'd get to meet more amazing people like the woman with the killer smile.
but, nonetheless, i'll be back and i know that.
so this morning i was sitting in DOCS office, visiting with Virgine (the woman from DOCS who has been assisting me a great deal with everything) when in came her regular dosage of people asking questions, making requests and so forth. i wasn't paying a great deal of attention because usually they always speak in swahili and it has nothing to do with me. i DID however notice this woman who walked in. she had a bit of a limp about her, but what really caught my eye was her smile. she had a great smile. i stood up and greeted her in swahili, which surprised her and got an even bigger smile. i usually reach out my hand to shake theirs when they come in, but for some reason i didn't with her. as she sat down, she and Virgine started visiting back and forth and Virgine let out an "Ouuu" which is usually a sign of some kind of distress within the conversation.
i looked over at the woman and noticed she had been talking with her arms a bit as well. i say arms because she had no hands. at first it didn't catch my attention, but after a few minutes i caught myself looking a bit closer and i thought "hmm, she wasn't born that way". then she pulled up the side of her pagne/ skirt to show Virgine and i her prostetic (sp?) leg. she continued talking and even though i couldn't understand the language, i understand the situation--- which Virgine quickly relayed to me. the story was simple: her situation was due to the war.
with two children already, she had been pregnant at the time and had been shot in the stomach-- lost that child and had some internal damage. she also had both hands (from about the elbow down) and one leg cut-off; wasn't sure who her perpetrators were though. i was tempted to ask whether or not she had been sexually abused as well, but at that point--- did it really matter? she was dealing with enough and it was none of my business. since that incident, she has had two MORE children, her husband is not working OR looking for food, so she felt it was her job to figure something out, and she had nothing to feed her children with. she just wanted enough to buy some cassava to sell infront of her house, so she could get money to feed the family with. i give her credit, she was thinking of how to make it sustainable.
i looked at Virgine, a Congolese woman who sees a great deal, and thought i saw her eyes welling up a bit. the woman had started to get a little choked as she told us her story and i was definitely struck by the whole situation. i hate giving money, i always feel i should be able to do more, but we both immediately did what we could for the situation. she accepted graciously and as i sat there and watched her fumble with trying to tuck the money into her pagne (cloak), i just felt overwhelmed.
to be honest, my eyes are full and i am fighting back just writing about this (but that could possibly be because i am sorry to see my time end here so quickly). these people... they are resilient, amazing, and inspirational in more ways than i can obvioulsy put into words. if nothing else, it seems to put things into perspective.
i probably couldn't help that woman out more than i did today (although i wish i coul), however, i think she helped me more than she could EVER realize. just being there, seeing the situation, seeing the work and relief to be done (development will come once things have calmed down), meeting people like that woman today with the situation she lives everyday in--- but a smile that will definitely turn your head, meeting the people in the field, seeing the passion they have for their work... how could one not want to return?
to be a part of that, i would be more than fortunate in many ways, which i can't even begin to describe. but for one, i'd get to meet more amazing people like the woman with the killer smile.
Saturday, May 21, 2005
a week in review...
sorry for the silence. i've been "away" from the office for the week. just a quick week in review, which will not do justice to the people of this country or the situation here, but might help a little. i only hope to help fill the gap, not make things worse in understanding the situation here.
this week has been everything from visiting an orphanage here in Goma, to taking a 3-day trip to a few other villages, to seeing a few kids die, to falling into the hands and care of Medecins Sans Frontieres (Doctors without Borders) and to finally getting some pictures of Congo.
monday started with the orphanage, which was pretty amazing and humbling in itself. extremely impacting and uplifting, but needless to say, the week held greater impacting events.
wednesday i left with four other reps from Goma (two DOCS reps, one guy from the ministry of health and another community official) on anurse's training to random health and village clinics. basically, it was an educational forum to discuss sexual violence victims and how to treat them properly. also dropped off some drugs and rape kits donated by UNFPA. one infirmiere blew meaway with "well now that we know what to look for, we know it's allover in these mountains and hills. we see a lot of it." apparently, some haven't been sure what they were looking for. have a VERYinteresting story on that which is DEFINITELY going into my dissertation--- but i'll share that later. we were able to hit two village "centre de sante's" before calling it a day and arriving at out final destination for the day-- Kitchanga.
Kitchanga is a make-shift village really. it's built around the road which runs through it. wasn't there 12 years ago, but developed over time from a refugee camp which started 10 years ago there. you can see the remains of the refugee camp on the side of the mountain about 1km away from the main of village. has been basically settled at this point, but is still somewhat used a refugee camp from time to time.
my group out of respect (which is just over the top) didn't want me staying in the same conditions they were staying in, so we stopped at the door of Medecins Sans Frontieres and they took me in without question. the only two expats there (dawn/ female/ canadian/ logistician, and george/male/ greek/ doctor) were extremely hospitible, nice and helpful. as plans fell through for my departure the next day back to Goma, they let me stay another night--- no questions asked. even helped me out with my research and let me visit with their sexual violence clinic and counselors there.
also was able to tour their "theraputic feeding center" there. have numerous pics and stories to go along with them.
didn't sleep much last night--- actually, hardly slept at all. just amillion and one questions running through my head now--- so i had toget up and write them all down, of course--- and i will try and getthem answered before i leave on monday/ tuesday. it's a bit more difficult to get answers from DOCS, but MSF has been SOOOO amazing and more than willing to help. they have totally put things in perspective for me here. and i definitely look forward to applying with MSF over the summer. might hopefully get on with some of their gender based violence emergency centers. if not them, maybe ICRC orIRC. i imagine i'll end up back in DRC. that's where most "first missions" seem to be. that's totally fine with me as it's quite beautiful here.
anyway, i think that's about it--- that's been my week. it's been a rather FULL and interesting week and went by far too quickly. i am sorry to see my time here coming to an end. i feel like i am just finally starting to figure things out, to ask the right questions, to get sincere answers, which of course only turn into MORE questions...but isn't that how it always is?
i leave Goma on monday, hopefully to see the gorillas on wednesday, leave Kigali on thursday--- will reside in Nairobi with my friend Steve on Thursday, and i'll be back in London by friday evening (staying with cousins in just outside of Ely) and back in Edinburgh by the following Monday. time seems to be flying by at this point...
this week has been everything from visiting an orphanage here in Goma, to taking a 3-day trip to a few other villages, to seeing a few kids die, to falling into the hands and care of Medecins Sans Frontieres (Doctors without Borders) and to finally getting some pictures of Congo.
monday started with the orphanage, which was pretty amazing and humbling in itself. extremely impacting and uplifting, but needless to say, the week held greater impacting events.
wednesday i left with four other reps from Goma (two DOCS reps, one guy from the ministry of health and another community official) on anurse's training to random health and village clinics. basically, it was an educational forum to discuss sexual violence victims and how to treat them properly. also dropped off some drugs and rape kits donated by UNFPA. one infirmiere blew meaway with "well now that we know what to look for, we know it's allover in these mountains and hills. we see a lot of it." apparently, some haven't been sure what they were looking for. have a VERYinteresting story on that which is DEFINITELY going into my dissertation--- but i'll share that later. we were able to hit two village "centre de sante's" before calling it a day and arriving at out final destination for the day-- Kitchanga.
Kitchanga is a make-shift village really. it's built around the road which runs through it. wasn't there 12 years ago, but developed over time from a refugee camp which started 10 years ago there. you can see the remains of the refugee camp on the side of the mountain about 1km away from the main of village. has been basically settled at this point, but is still somewhat used a refugee camp from time to time.
my group out of respect (which is just over the top) didn't want me staying in the same conditions they were staying in, so we stopped at the door of Medecins Sans Frontieres and they took me in without question. the only two expats there (dawn/ female/ canadian/ logistician, and george/male/ greek/ doctor) were extremely hospitible, nice and helpful. as plans fell through for my departure the next day back to Goma, they let me stay another night--- no questions asked. even helped me out with my research and let me visit with their sexual violence clinic and counselors there.
also was able to tour their "theraputic feeding center" there. have numerous pics and stories to go along with them.
didn't sleep much last night--- actually, hardly slept at all. just amillion and one questions running through my head now--- so i had toget up and write them all down, of course--- and i will try and getthem answered before i leave on monday/ tuesday. it's a bit more difficult to get answers from DOCS, but MSF has been SOOOO amazing and more than willing to help. they have totally put things in perspective for me here. and i definitely look forward to applying with MSF over the summer. might hopefully get on with some of their gender based violence emergency centers. if not them, maybe ICRC orIRC. i imagine i'll end up back in DRC. that's where most "first missions" seem to be. that's totally fine with me as it's quite beautiful here.
anyway, i think that's about it--- that's been my week. it's been a rather FULL and interesting week and went by far too quickly. i am sorry to see my time here coming to an end. i feel like i am just finally starting to figure things out, to ask the right questions, to get sincere answers, which of course only turn into MORE questions...but isn't that how it always is?
i leave Goma on monday, hopefully to see the gorillas on wednesday, leave Kigali on thursday--- will reside in Nairobi with my friend Steve on Thursday, and i'll be back in London by friday evening (staying with cousins in just outside of Ely) and back in Edinburgh by the following Monday. time seems to be flying by at this point...
Monday, May 16, 2005
small world, busy weekend
again, i have no idea where to start. first and foremost, i should thank my friends and family because your emails from this weekend truly put a smile on my face this morning. not that i NEEDED a smile, but it's always nice to read what everyone is up to.
and i am SUPER PROUD of my nephew for eating his entire birthday cake all by himself!!! (to the certain woman who reported that to me--- i know it was hard, but am glad you were able to let aidan have his first bday cake to himself. he doesn't understand how you are about cake--- maybe he can share next year? :-)
ok, ok, ok, ok... so things here are good. not that anything has really changed over the weekend, except maybe my attitude, but life in Goma continues to go on like it does every day here. the poor congolese who are unfortunate enough to come in contact with me on a daily basis continue to be utterly patient with my horrid french and even worse, my attempts at swahili. (liz, we are SOOO speaking swahili when i get back!!)
i showed up at DOCS on saturday morning, not really sure what the day's events would hold, but needless to say it was a full day from the moment i arrived to the moment i fell into bed that night. there was a wedding (which i had forgotten about) on saturday that Virgine and i had to attend as "reps" for DOCS. and what a wedding it was; my first african wedding! (no one is ever allowed to slam catholics for long wedding services again though--- this african wedding made catholic weddings look like a flash in the dark!!)
i have been pretty timid about whipping the camera out just anywhere, so i asked virgine if it would be alright to take some pictures and she gave me the go ahead. as SOON as i had the camera out a woman from the crowd grabbed me and pulled me up next to the family of the groom, so i could have access to take pics of anything i wanted... as long as i took a picture of her as well and promised to send it back. i nodded and promised and will hold to it.
after the ceremony when pics of the bride and groom were being taken, the father of the groom (Pasteur Gilbert-- the man who invited me) grabbed Virgine and i and pulled us into the picture. however, they put me right next to the bride--- the poor girl; like she really wanted to stand next to this complete stranger at her own wedding!! being from DOCS (which is HIGHLY respected here) Virgine gets a great deal of respect, but i think the fact that i was the only mzungu in the crowd only added to that attention.
after the wedding, i visited Virgine's house and met her family. a lively bunch who seem fun to be around. by the time i arrived home, i was full of stories and stayed up and visited with "mama" and gave a rundown of the days events. "mama" happens to be the woman who is taking care of me at the Lusi's house (the directors of DOCS) while they are away. yes, they put me up in their house--- the complete stranger that i am and have people looking out for me--- talk about hospitality. "mama" and i ended up dancing to some congolese music before calling it a night. (aims, i tried to show her what the "ewe" dance looked like. while i was a poor representative, i DID attempt!!!)
sunday was another full day of a 2 1/2 hr church service, running into some guy who flies for the UN who is FROM FAYETTEVILLE, AR (go hogs!) and we discussed fayetteville for a bit and some of the similar people we know there (small world), going for a quick swim in lake kivu, teaching an english class that afternoon while flashing pictures of the fam and aidan (dad, they said you look very young to have such a large family), getting a few pictures of town, one of the volcano smoking (as it does everyday), before returning home for the evening and getting some things done there as well (clothes needed washing again).
side note: m&d, sorry about the phone thing AGAIN... i guess we can just wait 'til i get to kigali which should be next monday evening (tentatively). my first flight to catch on a long trip back takes off next thursday morning (the 26th)from kigali to nairobi, but i'll stay the night in nairobi (with my friend steve, i think) and will then travel all day on friday. i am staying with the keegan's over the weekend and will return to edinburgh two weeks from today (i think that's the 30th--- how's that, jean?).
not sure i am ready to head back at this point, as it seems i only just arrived here and just started getting used to things again. it's easier to slide into the groove of things here than it is to return to what i know as "comfortable", but i am excited to see friends and family again. i have greatly missed my flatmates and would love to get on the phone with the my bros/sis's/parents/nephew and fam again. glad i get the weekend with the keegans. m&d, if i don't talk to you before then, you can always get me there. more soon....
and i am SUPER PROUD of my nephew for eating his entire birthday cake all by himself!!! (to the certain woman who reported that to me--- i know it was hard, but am glad you were able to let aidan have his first bday cake to himself. he doesn't understand how you are about cake--- maybe he can share next year? :-)
ok, ok, ok, ok... so things here are good. not that anything has really changed over the weekend, except maybe my attitude, but life in Goma continues to go on like it does every day here. the poor congolese who are unfortunate enough to come in contact with me on a daily basis continue to be utterly patient with my horrid french and even worse, my attempts at swahili. (liz, we are SOOO speaking swahili when i get back!!)
i showed up at DOCS on saturday morning, not really sure what the day's events would hold, but needless to say it was a full day from the moment i arrived to the moment i fell into bed that night. there was a wedding (which i had forgotten about) on saturday that Virgine and i had to attend as "reps" for DOCS. and what a wedding it was; my first african wedding! (no one is ever allowed to slam catholics for long wedding services again though--- this african wedding made catholic weddings look like a flash in the dark!!)
i have been pretty timid about whipping the camera out just anywhere, so i asked virgine if it would be alright to take some pictures and she gave me the go ahead. as SOON as i had the camera out a woman from the crowd grabbed me and pulled me up next to the family of the groom, so i could have access to take pics of anything i wanted... as long as i took a picture of her as well and promised to send it back. i nodded and promised and will hold to it.
after the ceremony when pics of the bride and groom were being taken, the father of the groom (Pasteur Gilbert-- the man who invited me) grabbed Virgine and i and pulled us into the picture. however, they put me right next to the bride--- the poor girl; like she really wanted to stand next to this complete stranger at her own wedding!! being from DOCS (which is HIGHLY respected here) Virgine gets a great deal of respect, but i think the fact that i was the only mzungu in the crowd only added to that attention.
after the wedding, i visited Virgine's house and met her family. a lively bunch who seem fun to be around. by the time i arrived home, i was full of stories and stayed up and visited with "mama" and gave a rundown of the days events. "mama" happens to be the woman who is taking care of me at the Lusi's house (the directors of DOCS) while they are away. yes, they put me up in their house--- the complete stranger that i am and have people looking out for me--- talk about hospitality. "mama" and i ended up dancing to some congolese music before calling it a night. (aims, i tried to show her what the "ewe" dance looked like. while i was a poor representative, i DID attempt!!!)
sunday was another full day of a 2 1/2 hr church service, running into some guy who flies for the UN who is FROM FAYETTEVILLE, AR (go hogs!) and we discussed fayetteville for a bit and some of the similar people we know there (small world), going for a quick swim in lake kivu, teaching an english class that afternoon while flashing pictures of the fam and aidan (dad, they said you look very young to have such a large family), getting a few pictures of town, one of the volcano smoking (as it does everyday), before returning home for the evening and getting some things done there as well (clothes needed washing again).
side note: m&d, sorry about the phone thing AGAIN... i guess we can just wait 'til i get to kigali which should be next monday evening (tentatively). my first flight to catch on a long trip back takes off next thursday morning (the 26th)from kigali to nairobi, but i'll stay the night in nairobi (with my friend steve, i think) and will then travel all day on friday. i am staying with the keegan's over the weekend and will return to edinburgh two weeks from today (i think that's the 30th--- how's that, jean?).
not sure i am ready to head back at this point, as it seems i only just arrived here and just started getting used to things again. it's easier to slide into the groove of things here than it is to return to what i know as "comfortable", but i am excited to see friends and family again. i have greatly missed my flatmates and would love to get on the phone with the my bros/sis's/parents/nephew and fam again. glad i get the weekend with the keegans. m&d, if i don't talk to you before then, you can always get me there. more soon....
Friday, May 13, 2005
13th mai 2005-- friday the 13th
it's friday morning just before 10am and i am just getting into DOCS. the chaffeur was busy so i had to find my own way--- which wasn't a problem.
i have so much to report, i don't even know where to begin.
it's funny because at the end of the day i have so much running through me i feel i might explode and then when i finally get a chance to sitdown here and share, i don't know where to begin or am even sure what all to share.
yesterday was interesting: it started out as something i THOUGHT was a celebration for international nurse's day, which turned into a lecture on the upcoming elections in june. i wouldn't so much call it a political rally--- no, more of something like an information session--- but then it didn't APPEAR that it was necessarily in support of the current political situation either. but then how would i know, i don't speak congolese swahili!!!! not to alarm anyone (mom and dad, it's totally fine) but there were some UN peacekeepers there. they are really cool--- i of course said "hello." we chatted for a bit. they were just there to say they support the people of congo in the most PEACEFUL process as possible. that's always nice to hear. this all took place in a church next to where i am working/ or doing whatever it is i am doing here.
i have some interviews set up for today, but then just because they are set for today doesn't mean they'll actually take place; a concept i am trying to familarize myself with again. i think i have started to become a bit type-A.
the biggest thing i have noticed about GOma is the massive destruction it has gone through due to the volcano, which three years later is STILL smoking everyday. there is a black dust in the air and everywhere you look is volcanic rock (solidified lava i suppose); the town has a cloud of smoke from the volcano which covers it most hours of the day. so trying to see devastation from anything due to the war is difficult because all you can see the what the volcano has done.
buildings are still standing, but what you notice is that the remainder of a door or a window from the first floor peeks underneath---- but what is ground level now is the second or third floor. it's true... it's nothing like rwanda. rwanda is cultivated, tidy and well kept---- here is just ruins. but then where i am staying is completely posh too. right next to the lake in the house of the director who runs the org i am working with. however, the directors are not here, so it's just me (and the staff) at the house. i know, i know... just ridiculous.
i thought i was about to be overcome by my thoughts yesterday and i can't really keep up with everything on paper at this point. this has been even more overwhelming than i think Togo was, but in a good way. i grabbed "hamlet" off the shelf last night and started reading that. seems to be helping with the overwhelming thoughts running through my head trying to figure everything out here--- and the vocab is extremely difficult for me to read, almost like ANOTHER language at this point, but seems to be a good release. it's no "harry potter" will be alright for now.
anyway... i won't be on here 'til next week at some point again. no worries; everything is fine here.
and i didn't realize 'til just now it was friday the 13th... niccceeee. :-)
i have so much to report, i don't even know where to begin.
it's funny because at the end of the day i have so much running through me i feel i might explode and then when i finally get a chance to sitdown here and share, i don't know where to begin or am even sure what all to share.
yesterday was interesting: it started out as something i THOUGHT was a celebration for international nurse's day, which turned into a lecture on the upcoming elections in june. i wouldn't so much call it a political rally--- no, more of something like an information session--- but then it didn't APPEAR that it was necessarily in support of the current political situation either. but then how would i know, i don't speak congolese swahili!!!! not to alarm anyone (mom and dad, it's totally fine) but there were some UN peacekeepers there. they are really cool--- i of course said "hello." we chatted for a bit. they were just there to say they support the people of congo in the most PEACEFUL process as possible. that's always nice to hear. this all took place in a church next to where i am working/ or doing whatever it is i am doing here.
i have some interviews set up for today, but then just because they are set for today doesn't mean they'll actually take place; a concept i am trying to familarize myself with again. i think i have started to become a bit type-A.
the biggest thing i have noticed about GOma is the massive destruction it has gone through due to the volcano, which three years later is STILL smoking everyday. there is a black dust in the air and everywhere you look is volcanic rock (solidified lava i suppose); the town has a cloud of smoke from the volcano which covers it most hours of the day. so trying to see devastation from anything due to the war is difficult because all you can see the what the volcano has done.
buildings are still standing, but what you notice is that the remainder of a door or a window from the first floor peeks underneath---- but what is ground level now is the second or third floor. it's true... it's nothing like rwanda. rwanda is cultivated, tidy and well kept---- here is just ruins. but then where i am staying is completely posh too. right next to the lake in the house of the director who runs the org i am working with. however, the directors are not here, so it's just me (and the staff) at the house. i know, i know... just ridiculous.
i thought i was about to be overcome by my thoughts yesterday and i can't really keep up with everything on paper at this point. this has been even more overwhelming than i think Togo was, but in a good way. i grabbed "hamlet" off the shelf last night and started reading that. seems to be helping with the overwhelming thoughts running through my head trying to figure everything out here--- and the vocab is extremely difficult for me to read, almost like ANOTHER language at this point, but seems to be a good release. it's no "harry potter" will be alright for now.
anyway... i won't be on here 'til next week at some point again. no worries; everything is fine here.
and i didn't realize 'til just now it was friday the 13th... niccceeee. :-)
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
"welcome to Congo"
as i was crossing the border this morning, struggling a little bit because i thought they wanted me to pay full price, when really they were giving me a deal on my visa (who does that???), a guy walked up to me, smiled and said "welcome to congo". i had to laugh.
i got a ride to DOCS and here i am, safe and sound. they greeted me as i walked through the compound doors and i headed straight to the office with my things. the woman i am working with (virginia) reminds me a great deal of "frida" the woman i worked with in Arusha last year. extremely kind and well natured.
it appears i am to be working with an orphanage in the next few days as well, which i am looking forward to. we'll see how all of that goes. anyway, they have internet here, but i don't want to spend all of my time using their internet. i suppose my entries will be short and not as in-depth, but nonetheless, i am completely safe and sound.
i will say this. while Togo still has my heart (after all, it was naturally my first "african love") being in West Africa has always felt more difficult than any of my time in East or Central africa. not sure why that is, but... it's just always seemed that way. however, that is in my very small experience of africa at this point. i have had so much time to reflect on my time in the peace corps and my friends from there this trip; these past few days.
anyway, i had better get. wasn't sure if the first entry went through, so i thought i would give it another try.
i got a ride to DOCS and here i am, safe and sound. they greeted me as i walked through the compound doors and i headed straight to the office with my things. the woman i am working with (virginia) reminds me a great deal of "frida" the woman i worked with in Arusha last year. extremely kind and well natured.
it appears i am to be working with an orphanage in the next few days as well, which i am looking forward to. we'll see how all of that goes. anyway, they have internet here, but i don't want to spend all of my time using their internet. i suppose my entries will be short and not as in-depth, but nonetheless, i am completely safe and sound.
i will say this. while Togo still has my heart (after all, it was naturally my first "african love") being in West Africa has always felt more difficult than any of my time in East or Central africa. not sure why that is, but... it's just always seemed that way. however, that is in my very small experience of africa at this point. i have had so much time to reflect on my time in the peace corps and my friends from there this trip; these past few days.
anyway, i had better get. wasn't sure if the first entry went through, so i thought i would give it another try.
greetings from Gisenyi/ Goma
alright so this will have to be fast and quick as i have to get going this morning.
there is so much to tell, i am not even sure where to start. the ride from Kigali to Gisenyi was the most beautiful of my life!!! i could take that ride a thousand times over and have my breath taken away every time!
spent yesterday in Goma yesterday. headed back there this morning. things are fine; no worries. i am a bit overwhelmed with questions, but that's to be expected. yesterday i spent the day with women suffering from fistula due to giving birth and being raped. DOCS (the org i am working with) had a new group of women come in, so i got to go through their "orientation" with them. these women come from the surrounding areas to hopefully seek medical assistance. they come in with their kids and their pots on their heads--- that way they can cook, of course--- wearing only the clothes on their backs. i attempted to greet them in swahili (but it's the swahili spoken here in DR Congo, not the same to Tanzania and Kenyan swahili) and they all laughed--- so of course i did as well. then a little boy toddled on over to me and handed me the piece of plastic he was playing with. he was nervous to touch my hand at first, but none like his counterparts, he reached out and touched it anyway. then he barried his little head in arm, his mom (who couldn't be older than 22) laughed and called me his mother and i picked him up and attempted speaking with him for a bit. at a total loss of course because he barely speaks swahili and i barely speak french. i got a smile out of him though.
alright... i have to go. i am safe and fine. more soon.
there is so much to tell, i am not even sure where to start. the ride from Kigali to Gisenyi was the most beautiful of my life!!! i could take that ride a thousand times over and have my breath taken away every time!
spent yesterday in Goma yesterday. headed back there this morning. things are fine; no worries. i am a bit overwhelmed with questions, but that's to be expected. yesterday i spent the day with women suffering from fistula due to giving birth and being raped. DOCS (the org i am working with) had a new group of women come in, so i got to go through their "orientation" with them. these women come from the surrounding areas to hopefully seek medical assistance. they come in with their kids and their pots on their heads--- that way they can cook, of course--- wearing only the clothes on their backs. i attempted to greet them in swahili (but it's the swahili spoken here in DR Congo, not the same to Tanzania and Kenyan swahili) and they all laughed--- so of course i did as well. then a little boy toddled on over to me and handed me the piece of plastic he was playing with. he was nervous to touch my hand at first, but none like his counterparts, he reached out and touched it anyway. then he barried his little head in arm, his mom (who couldn't be older than 22) laughed and called me his mother and i picked him up and attempted speaking with him for a bit. at a total loss of course because he barely speaks swahili and i barely speak french. i got a smile out of him though.
alright... i have to go. i am safe and fine. more soon.
Saturday, May 07, 2005
waiting...
(copied from the paper i duddled on this morning)
I think someone could write an entire dissertation on the time spent on "waiting" in Africa (possibly an entire Ph.D topic there). Last night I spent a good 60-90 minutes waiting on my friend Grace to show up, then another 2 hrs waiting on Jessica. This morning I spent a good 30 minutes waiting on the computer lab to open up and now that I am here, I am waiting for the "programme" to get up and running. I was told it will be another 2 hrs before it's working and was asked if I could return later. I asked if I could just wait here, as I have nowhere to go or be. "Pas du probleme"--- oh good.
I think my favorte "waiting" story in Africa has to be the one of my brother Kyle and I trying to catch a bush-taxi out of my village on a bright and early Saturday morning. Thank goodness for the saturday marche in Nymassilla or we would have never found a ride. Two mini-vans passed thru village on the main road that morning in a matter of 3 1/2-4hrs. The first had a little room on top of the van, but we chanced it and waited for the next one. When the door to the second one opened, there were around 24/25 people in there, chickens tied by their feet under the seats and any and all goods to be sold at the marche; that was inside. On top of the van were three live goats, large bags of coal, maize, etc--- all strapped down under a net to be sold at the marche. Kyle looked at me and said "there's no room," in which I replied" oh sure there is. Let's go," and in we piled.
I was stuck between two marche mama's who greeted me with a smile and an "allafia" which is "hello" in the local language of Kabye there. Kyle was stuck next to the sliding door which continued to fall-off, so he and the apprentice attempted to hold it on during the 50-60 minute rough, bumpy and dusty ride to the main road. Did I mention that the apprentice basically sat on Kyle's lap as well? Once we arrived to the main road, we stretched our legs, attempted to rid ourselves of the thick red dust/dirt we had accumulated during the 1st part of our journey, then jumped back into the van and headed south to Atakpame--- where working phone lines awaited us. Kyle wanted to call Lori and I gave Mom and Dad a ring.
Reflecting back on this story, I love it for numerous reasons. I love it because this was one of the many stories Kyle and I share from this two-week venture in Togo. While his visit was a little rough from time to time, I wouldn't change our time shared there for the world, not a minute of it. I love it because it now enables me to look at the situation from both ends--- Kyle's possible perspective and the average villager's possible perspective. While the mini-van situation might sound "out of this world" to possibly many of us, this is simply a way to get around for the villager traveling to and fro in many parts of Africa. Nothing more, nothing less. Heck at times the bush-taxi could be considerred the "posh" way to travel as it may be out of budget for many (I believe it cost us a total of just under $6 for the whole journey down to Atakpame). Many would have just walked the 21km int he scalding heat of the morning--- maybe biked it if that option was available. But to me, the bush-taxi had become the norm; squashed in like sardines, I didn't think twice about it. Just pulled out my book and went with it. That was just how it was. But for Kyle it was new, something different than what he was used to and it was good for me to remember that. Just as it is good for me to remember that it would be odd or different for any of my village friends to jump in a car and take a 5-hr trip with only three people in the vehicle.
It's just a difference in lifestyles--- in livelihoods--- which I think is good to remember from time to time. Here "en Afrique" you might have to wait longer than you wish, you might have to walk 21km for food, you will probably sweat A LOT, you'll get dirty, you may have only the essentials, you will hand wask your clothes (and if you wash like I do, they'll never be truly clean again), you may work from sun-up to sundown and not make an income but a living for yourself and family, you may have lost both parents to two separare wars only to wake-up and find yourself in another country--- not quite sure how you arrived there, but that is life for a number of people here. Does that make it any less of a livelihood than what we consider to be one back home in the West? I don't know, I am not the one with the answers--- you'd have to ask someone who lives here. I am just fortunate enough to see the differences in lifestyles--- in livelihoods--- both of which I have come to appreciate a great deal and love. There is so much to learn from both sides of the spectrum here, so much to be taken away. I guess it's just a matter of allowing yourself to be open to both--- not judging one as superior to the other, but rather maybe just different and that both of made up of positives and negatives. Like I said though, I don't have the answers--- I am still just learning.
And so I'll continue to wait and learn some more...
I think someone could write an entire dissertation on the time spent on "waiting" in Africa (possibly an entire Ph.D topic there). Last night I spent a good 60-90 minutes waiting on my friend Grace to show up, then another 2 hrs waiting on Jessica. This morning I spent a good 30 minutes waiting on the computer lab to open up and now that I am here, I am waiting for the "programme" to get up and running. I was told it will be another 2 hrs before it's working and was asked if I could return later. I asked if I could just wait here, as I have nowhere to go or be. "Pas du probleme"--- oh good.
I think my favorte "waiting" story in Africa has to be the one of my brother Kyle and I trying to catch a bush-taxi out of my village on a bright and early Saturday morning. Thank goodness for the saturday marche in Nymassilla or we would have never found a ride. Two mini-vans passed thru village on the main road that morning in a matter of 3 1/2-4hrs. The first had a little room on top of the van, but we chanced it and waited for the next one. When the door to the second one opened, there were around 24/25 people in there, chickens tied by their feet under the seats and any and all goods to be sold at the marche; that was inside. On top of the van were three live goats, large bags of coal, maize, etc--- all strapped down under a net to be sold at the marche. Kyle looked at me and said "there's no room," in which I replied" oh sure there is. Let's go," and in we piled.
I was stuck between two marche mama's who greeted me with a smile and an "allafia" which is "hello" in the local language of Kabye there. Kyle was stuck next to the sliding door which continued to fall-off, so he and the apprentice attempted to hold it on during the 50-60 minute rough, bumpy and dusty ride to the main road. Did I mention that the apprentice basically sat on Kyle's lap as well? Once we arrived to the main road, we stretched our legs, attempted to rid ourselves of the thick red dust/dirt we had accumulated during the 1st part of our journey, then jumped back into the van and headed south to Atakpame--- where working phone lines awaited us. Kyle wanted to call Lori and I gave Mom and Dad a ring.
Reflecting back on this story, I love it for numerous reasons. I love it because this was one of the many stories Kyle and I share from this two-week venture in Togo. While his visit was a little rough from time to time, I wouldn't change our time shared there for the world, not a minute of it. I love it because it now enables me to look at the situation from both ends--- Kyle's possible perspective and the average villager's possible perspective. While the mini-van situation might sound "out of this world" to possibly many of us, this is simply a way to get around for the villager traveling to and fro in many parts of Africa. Nothing more, nothing less. Heck at times the bush-taxi could be considerred the "posh" way to travel as it may be out of budget for many (I believe it cost us a total of just under $6 for the whole journey down to Atakpame). Many would have just walked the 21km int he scalding heat of the morning--- maybe biked it if that option was available. But to me, the bush-taxi had become the norm; squashed in like sardines, I didn't think twice about it. Just pulled out my book and went with it. That was just how it was. But for Kyle it was new, something different than what he was used to and it was good for me to remember that. Just as it is good for me to remember that it would be odd or different for any of my village friends to jump in a car and take a 5-hr trip with only three people in the vehicle.
It's just a difference in lifestyles--- in livelihoods--- which I think is good to remember from time to time. Here "en Afrique" you might have to wait longer than you wish, you might have to walk 21km for food, you will probably sweat A LOT, you'll get dirty, you may have only the essentials, you will hand wask your clothes (and if you wash like I do, they'll never be truly clean again), you may work from sun-up to sundown and not make an income but a living for yourself and family, you may have lost both parents to two separare wars only to wake-up and find yourself in another country--- not quite sure how you arrived there, but that is life for a number of people here. Does that make it any less of a livelihood than what we consider to be one back home in the West? I don't know, I am not the one with the answers--- you'd have to ask someone who lives here. I am just fortunate enough to see the differences in lifestyles--- in livelihoods--- both of which I have come to appreciate a great deal and love. There is so much to learn from both sides of the spectrum here, so much to be taken away. I guess it's just a matter of allowing yourself to be open to both--- not judging one as superior to the other, but rather maybe just different and that both of made up of positives and negatives. Like I said though, I don't have the answers--- I am still just learning.
And so I'll continue to wait and learn some more...
Friday, May 06, 2005
friday figuring
this is a second and final try. lost the last poste i just put up as the internet went down. quick things to respond to:
- my phone is up and working (or so i think), so m&d, give that a try over the weekend or anytime today. phone is on 24-7.
- there is a very long story to go with the whole bit of transferring pounds over here and basically the gist of the story is--- because they say "the bank of scotland" it's not going down. they wanted to give me a "deal" yesterday and would take my "scottish pounds" for 1/4 of what they are worth. while i cannot aruge with them like my dear old friend aims, who is AMAZING at this kind of thing, i dropped my head down on the guy's desk to show my frustration of the situation and got "ohhhh... pole, pole mama". since WHEN did i get old enough to be considered a "mama" here? needless to say, i am fine at the moment and just want out of kigali as it is a little expensive for me.
- weekend plans are to head to Gisenyi by sunday. will hopefully meet my contact at the border on monday and go from there. need to discuss a few things with my friend grace first. she's a young somali girl i met the other night who is just a WEALTH of information. amazing what you can learn from people over a simple drink.
- while i am trying not to dwell on the events from 11 years ago, it's hard to walk around this city and NOT think of it. everything is even familiar to some degree just from what i've read and then of course the movie "hotel rwanda."
- much to say, but too much to report on this simple blog. my friends adam and jessica have been great to hang with the past few days, but as we are all headed in seperate directions now, maybe i'll be able to clear my head a bit of the surroundings i find myself in.
not sure i'll have internet access in Gisenyi, so if i do not, no worries. i'll catch everyone up afterwards.
- my phone is up and working (or so i think), so m&d, give that a try over the weekend or anytime today. phone is on 24-7.
- there is a very long story to go with the whole bit of transferring pounds over here and basically the gist of the story is--- because they say "the bank of scotland" it's not going down. they wanted to give me a "deal" yesterday and would take my "scottish pounds" for 1/4 of what they are worth. while i cannot aruge with them like my dear old friend aims, who is AMAZING at this kind of thing, i dropped my head down on the guy's desk to show my frustration of the situation and got "ohhhh... pole, pole mama". since WHEN did i get old enough to be considered a "mama" here? needless to say, i am fine at the moment and just want out of kigali as it is a little expensive for me.
- weekend plans are to head to Gisenyi by sunday. will hopefully meet my contact at the border on monday and go from there. need to discuss a few things with my friend grace first. she's a young somali girl i met the other night who is just a WEALTH of information. amazing what you can learn from people over a simple drink.
- while i am trying not to dwell on the events from 11 years ago, it's hard to walk around this city and NOT think of it. everything is even familiar to some degree just from what i've read and then of course the movie "hotel rwanda."
- much to say, but too much to report on this simple blog. my friends adam and jessica have been great to hang with the past few days, but as we are all headed in seperate directions now, maybe i'll be able to clear my head a bit of the surroundings i find myself in.
not sure i'll have internet access in Gisenyi, so if i do not, no worries. i'll catch everyone up afterwards.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Arusha to Nairobi to Bujumbura to Kigali...
So I arrived in Kigali finally after what seemed to be a longer day than I had expected. That's alright though. Kind of a nice and quiet day really.
Left Arusha bright and early this morning and headed up to Nairobi where I was to catch a flight over to Kigali--- or so I thought. Made to Nairobi safely, no problem, waited my 4 hours for the next flight (which wasn't a bother--- Nairobi airport now has a "Java House" in the airport, so I was fine), and then jumped on the flight to Kigali. Only after take-off did I begin to think I was on the wrong flight. I wasn't though. I just wasn't aware we would be stopping in Bujumbura first.
Bujumbura, Burundi is like nothing I have ever seen in my life. The city sits on the edge of Lake Tangiyika (and I KNOW I didn't spell that right) and is literally covered by the vastness of the mountains. It felt like the mountains were towering all aorund us when we landed and that they could literally open up and swallow this small piece of flatness that was right in the middle of them. It was quite overwhelming just to sit there and look out.
So I have literally a thousand and one things going through me which I would like to put down on here, but I am limited for time and money at the moment. It appears that no one believes me that the currency that reads "Bank of Scotland" is really the british pound. If that's the case, this could get VERY INTERESTING!!!! (which i have to smile about) And, there is no ATM machine here. No worries, I have enough money, I'll just have to budget a little tighter than even I was ready for. I am sure I can work it out at a bank tomorrow.
I am at least going to find myself some food tonight. The place I am staying at is quaint, small, but with it's own shower--- so that is pretty nice. Even has warm water. Must run. TIme is up.
Left Arusha bright and early this morning and headed up to Nairobi where I was to catch a flight over to Kigali--- or so I thought. Made to Nairobi safely, no problem, waited my 4 hours for the next flight (which wasn't a bother--- Nairobi airport now has a "Java House" in the airport, so I was fine), and then jumped on the flight to Kigali. Only after take-off did I begin to think I was on the wrong flight. I wasn't though. I just wasn't aware we would be stopping in Bujumbura first.
Bujumbura, Burundi is like nothing I have ever seen in my life. The city sits on the edge of Lake Tangiyika (and I KNOW I didn't spell that right) and is literally covered by the vastness of the mountains. It felt like the mountains were towering all aorund us when we landed and that they could literally open up and swallow this small piece of flatness that was right in the middle of them. It was quite overwhelming just to sit there and look out.
So I have literally a thousand and one things going through me which I would like to put down on here, but I am limited for time and money at the moment. It appears that no one believes me that the currency that reads "Bank of Scotland" is really the british pound. If that's the case, this could get VERY INTERESTING!!!! (which i have to smile about) And, there is no ATM machine here. No worries, I have enough money, I'll just have to budget a little tighter than even I was ready for. I am sure I can work it out at a bank tomorrow.
I am at least going to find myself some food tonight. The place I am staying at is quaint, small, but with it's own shower--- so that is pretty nice. Even has warm water. Must run. TIme is up.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Well, things seem to be panning out for the best here. Tomorrow I take off for Kigali first thing in the morning. I know--- or have an idea--- as to where I am staying my first few nights (thanks, Bryce). I have a LOT to get done in Kigali and in a rather small amount of time at this point because.... I heard from one of my contacts in Goma yesterday and it appears they were wondering when to expect me. SO.... it appears things are back in line with their original plan. I will do my best to get my visa and then head over to Goma for two weeks--- assuming everything goes accordingly, which they never do. My plans are to stay in Gisenyi (the Rwandese border town-- 5K from Goma) at night as I know more about the accommodations there at the moment.
Not a whole lot to update on. I feel very relaxed and at ease after my first three weeks here. Being around family has definitely helped, but being around Jessica the past few days has helped more than I could have imagined. She is just a wealth of information when it comes to fieldwork and bouncing things off her has done me a ton of good.
As far as other news, I kind of have a line on a job as well. Nothing serious just yet, but I have been talking back and forth with the NGO-- the IRC (International Relief Committee)-- and they seem more than willing to work with me on this. Still too early to tell, but hopefully things will blossom with it. It will all work out for the best no matter what happens though, so I am not too worried about it.
Jess leaves late tonight and I leave first thing in the morning. I feel very ready to go (much better than I did two weeks ago) and will touch base when I am in Kigali. Ta-ta for now...
Not a whole lot to update on. I feel very relaxed and at ease after my first three weeks here. Being around family has definitely helped, but being around Jessica the past few days has helped more than I could have imagined. She is just a wealth of information when it comes to fieldwork and bouncing things off her has done me a ton of good.
As far as other news, I kind of have a line on a job as well. Nothing serious just yet, but I have been talking back and forth with the NGO-- the IRC (International Relief Committee)-- and they seem more than willing to work with me on this. Still too early to tell, but hopefully things will blossom with it. It will all work out for the best no matter what happens though, so I am not too worried about it.
Jess leaves late tonight and I leave first thing in the morning. I feel very ready to go (much better than I did two weeks ago) and will touch base when I am in Kigali. Ta-ta for now...
Thursday, April 28, 2005
a little tougher then expected
I started this blog a few days ago, then stopped because I wasn't really sure how to put things into words. Reading over these transcripts has been a little tougher than I expected. I would have imagined that the reading of case studies dealing with rape and sexual abuse in Congo would have prepared me for this. But maybe not. This isn't about me though. I am perfectly fine. It's not like any of this happened to me and here I am whining about it. I just continue to be surprised that I can't quite "gut" some of the things I am reading--- at this point, I would have thought I could read just about anything without having to get up and walk away in the middle of it.
Maybe it just has to do with my proximity to the situation--- or rather, the situations--- that makes it that more real. And to think I have a hard time reading this, while these people lived it--- it's amazing what a human being will do to survive.
Another lifetime conviction today at the Tribunal. The guy who was convicted is actually the guy who's case I have been reading about. Pretty brutal, but I don't want to get into it on here. There's more on www.irinnews.org if anyone is interested.
Other news... I was attacked by a mosquito the other night in bed. Literally ATTACKED MY FACE!!! Have four bites on one side, two under my chin and even two on my lips! Go figure. I couldn't ever find the stupid thing to kill it, so it survived the night as well.
Jessica gets in tomorrow (Shannon's sister). She's been doing some work in Zimbabwe for the past two weeks, is checking in with a project here for the weekend, and then leaves Tuesday night. I leave first thing Wednesday morning. So we'll actually have three Fleming-born women under one roof. One of these days I am bound and determined to get all Fleming born women under one roof--- there are only five of us, right? How HARD could it possibly be???
Things are still "iffy" whether or not I'll be headed to Goma, but Kigali is a for sure. Because of this situation, I am really trying to catch up on my background reading for Rwanda. I am in the right house for that, luckily; this house is full of things on the genocide and humanitarian affairs dealing with Rwanda.
I am actually excited and nervous to get there-- meaning Kigali. Have been brushing up on my French... but should have never stopped from two years ago. If I seem "missing in action" over the next few days, it could be simply that the internet is down, as it has been down all day. I'll try and post one more time before I leave next week for sure, and then once I am in Kigali postings will be very sporadic. But I'll do my best to keep things updated.
Maybe it just has to do with my proximity to the situation--- or rather, the situations--- that makes it that more real. And to think I have a hard time reading this, while these people lived it--- it's amazing what a human being will do to survive.
Another lifetime conviction today at the Tribunal. The guy who was convicted is actually the guy who's case I have been reading about. Pretty brutal, but I don't want to get into it on here. There's more on www.irinnews.org if anyone is interested.
Other news... I was attacked by a mosquito the other night in bed. Literally ATTACKED MY FACE!!! Have four bites on one side, two under my chin and even two on my lips! Go figure. I couldn't ever find the stupid thing to kill it, so it survived the night as well.
Jessica gets in tomorrow (Shannon's sister). She's been doing some work in Zimbabwe for the past two weeks, is checking in with a project here for the weekend, and then leaves Tuesday night. I leave first thing Wednesday morning. So we'll actually have three Fleming-born women under one roof. One of these days I am bound and determined to get all Fleming born women under one roof--- there are only five of us, right? How HARD could it possibly be???
Things are still "iffy" whether or not I'll be headed to Goma, but Kigali is a for sure. Because of this situation, I am really trying to catch up on my background reading for Rwanda. I am in the right house for that, luckily; this house is full of things on the genocide and humanitarian affairs dealing with Rwanda.
I am actually excited and nervous to get there-- meaning Kigali. Have been brushing up on my French... but should have never stopped from two years ago. If I seem "missing in action" over the next few days, it could be simply that the internet is down, as it has been down all day. I'll try and post one more time before I leave next week for sure, and then once I am in Kigali postings will be very sporadic. But I'll do my best to keep things updated.
Monday, April 25, 2005
work begins- interview #1
My interview with Chris Fry from UN ICTR (the Tribunal) here in Arusha went well. To be honest, I wasn't sure what to expect, so I came out ahead--- or so I felt and still feel. His expertice deals more with the women of Rwanda from the genocide, not the situation in Congo, but that's fine. I'll make it work; piece by piece.
He is going to get me about 40-50 testimonies from women who were raped during the genocide; those documents should make for some interesting reading. He first asked if I had read anything like that and when I told him what I had been reading dealing with the war in Congo, he said I would be fine. I imagine it's a great deal along the same lines; some testimonies are from 11 years ago and some are from December 2004.
We talked more about the underlying tension of Rwanda and the potential it has in eruptiong again, just not to the same degree. Rwanda has come a long way over the past 11 years, but much of it seems "top-layer surface" covering. However, I can't say a great deal just yet about Rwanda because I have a great deal of back ground reading there. The situations in Rwanda and Congo are similar and different all in the same breath. One interesting fact Chris did mention was when collecting the 50+ testimonies of these women back in September 2004, it was all done on the very, very DOWN LOW for these women. It seems they didn't want their friends, families or communities knowing they were talking to the UN or knowing they had been raped during the genocide. A bit early to say but that leads me to believe that any chance of reintegration process is out the window. Possibly a bit skeptical of me, but if these women are struggling with the truth in their communities 11 years after the fact, how on earth is there reintegration going on in Congo? However, I still need to read the transcripts from these testimonies and talk to this women's support org in Kigali-- IBUKA.
On a sidenote, Shan and I started messing around with little words in Kinyarwanda last night. Between my horrid French, knowing only a few words (therefore basically nonexistant) of Swahili, and now trying to pick up a few things in Kinyarwanda, I am starting to forget English. Basically, my 2 1/2 year old goddaughter could easily serve as my translator here in Tanzania. Too bad she doesn't speak Kiryanrwanda as well. As far as my French, I have no excuse... I DID live in Togo for a while. I am just a poor excuse for a linguist.
Last side note: my nephew turned the big ONE yesterday! Happy birthday to Aidan!!!
He is going to get me about 40-50 testimonies from women who were raped during the genocide; those documents should make for some interesting reading. He first asked if I had read anything like that and when I told him what I had been reading dealing with the war in Congo, he said I would be fine. I imagine it's a great deal along the same lines; some testimonies are from 11 years ago and some are from December 2004.
We talked more about the underlying tension of Rwanda and the potential it has in eruptiong again, just not to the same degree. Rwanda has come a long way over the past 11 years, but much of it seems "top-layer surface" covering. However, I can't say a great deal just yet about Rwanda because I have a great deal of back ground reading there. The situations in Rwanda and Congo are similar and different all in the same breath. One interesting fact Chris did mention was when collecting the 50+ testimonies of these women back in September 2004, it was all done on the very, very DOWN LOW for these women. It seems they didn't want their friends, families or communities knowing they were talking to the UN or knowing they had been raped during the genocide. A bit early to say but that leads me to believe that any chance of reintegration process is out the window. Possibly a bit skeptical of me, but if these women are struggling with the truth in their communities 11 years after the fact, how on earth is there reintegration going on in Congo? However, I still need to read the transcripts from these testimonies and talk to this women's support org in Kigali-- IBUKA.
On a sidenote, Shan and I started messing around with little words in Kinyarwanda last night. Between my horrid French, knowing only a few words (therefore basically nonexistant) of Swahili, and now trying to pick up a few things in Kinyarwanda, I am starting to forget English. Basically, my 2 1/2 year old goddaughter could easily serve as my translator here in Tanzania. Too bad she doesn't speak Kiryanrwanda as well. As far as my French, I have no excuse... I DID live in Togo for a while. I am just a poor excuse for a linguist.
Last side note: my nephew turned the big ONE yesterday! Happy birthday to Aidan!!!
Sunday, April 24, 2005
enjoyed a nice weekend of safari at ngorongoro crater. truth be told, i wore the mask and everything in the car. by the time we got there friday night i was sure i should not have gone, but should have stayed in bed. by saturday evening, i was definitely glad to have gone. the sun, the view, the animals, and being with the fam did me more good than sitting around here could have. got my mind off of other things for a while. in the car coming back today, i realized it all may have actually paid off--- my frame of mind feels ready to work.
still coughing quite a bit--- breaking stuff up in my chest--- but i have my voice back, can eat solid foods again, body aches are down, and all seems on the mend. i'll be in arusha this week and part of next, then head to kigali, rwanda, wednesday the 4th of may. got an email today i MIGHT even be able to meet up with one of my supervisors (from Edinburgh) in rwanda while she'll be doing a bit of research there herself later in may. no complaints there.
still coughing quite a bit--- breaking stuff up in my chest--- but i have my voice back, can eat solid foods again, body aches are down, and all seems on the mend. i'll be in arusha this week and part of next, then head to kigali, rwanda, wednesday the 4th of may. got an email today i MIGHT even be able to meet up with one of my supervisors (from Edinburgh) in rwanda while she'll be doing a bit of research there herself later in may. no complaints there.
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