Back home for a bit

(August 22, 2006)
Recently with everything going on, I've become a little hesitant about sharing my writing--- very hesitant actually. Not exactly sure as to why so hesitant and I am working on overcoming my little insecurities and writing anyway. So bear with me if it takes me a few entries to get back up to speed on this.

At the moment there are a few things going on; I just finished my summer internship for Sen. Brownback on "the Hill" in DC, I returned last week and immediately started work at my mom's grade school (just for the week--- they needed a little extra help in the front office), in five days is my brother Mike's wedding, in 12 days I will head back to Europe where I will be "briefed" concerning my new post and position before heading to Isiro, DR Congo for the next 1-2 years, and in November my brother Kyle, sister-in-law Lori and nephew Aidan will be adding a new member to their family--- Keagan Matthew Fleming. He's over in China at the moment, but the three of them are going to pick him up and bring him home in November. The family continues to get bigger and bigger, which is always nice and fun to be around, I am only sorry I am not around for it all. But I always enjoy my time when I am here so I make-up for lost time.

Things seem in-line for the wedding at the moment. Weddings are always such an occasion though--- tons of people, food, drink, such a celebration, so I am looking forward to the weekend. And it will be nice to see everyone before taking off again.

As far as heading back to Africa, overall I feel pretty relaxed at this point; some anxieties, but for the most part I know and understand what I am getting myself into and I am excited about the work. I understand that it will be tougher in ways I never fathomed, I understand that the concept of "relief work" is going to have a rude awakening for me, I know my head will pound with headaches at night due to my initial language barrier, grasping the day-to-day, trying to keep my "head above water" with my new position, and I know my heart will ache for home from time-to-time, but.... having said all of that, I am ready to go and ready to get to work.

My summer in Senator Brownback's office in DC was brilliant. It gave me an understanding of policy making, it awoke me to more humanitarian issues (which should not be forgotten), it allowed me to see and be a part of the behind the scenes work, which I really enjoyed, and the best part was I felt pushed and challenged everyday when researching different issues--- looking for the road to make things better is NOT always easy in very complicated issues. Our politicians have a tough job and while I cannot speak from any experience with others, from my experience with Senator Brownback... I am a fan. He stands by things because he believes that is what is right, not because it will gain him votes. He is a man of great character, humility and just the real deal. I may not agree with him on every issue but then... I don't agree with my dad on every issue. I just have a great deal of respect for Senator Brownback AND his staff. It was a great office to work in and I am glad I went beyond party-lines for the experience.

As far as things with heading off to the Congo in 12 days... I am more worried about things and people left behind than going forth. Missing out on life back home is always very hard on me, but... for some reason I continue to go. I am madly in love with my friends and family here, there will be new nieces and nephews to arrive while I am away, people will grow and possibly forget, others will become busy in their day-to-day and life DOES go on---as it should. But whether your in Edinburgh, Scotland, or Isiro, DR Congo, you DO dream about home and somewhat romanticize it. Just as people romanticize life abroad, those of us abroad romanticize life near friends and family back home. And while we may miss events like Christmas or birthdays, we cling to those "little things" that others so easily take forgranted. I've noticed that I have already started "tucking away" certain bits and pieces of my time here to remember and take with me.

Friday night I was babysitting my nephew Aidan and he woke up just before his parents arrived home, so I went up to rub his back, sing, and lay with him--- those are things I rarely get to do for him. So when my brother Kyle said "just stay here, it's late", I started welling up and could only mutter thru the tears "I never get to do that."

Sunday night I was at the local catholic high school's annual fall Booster Picnic. You couldn't have paid me to go when I was in college, but now with my cousins standing up there, the group of kids whom I helped coach during track season, etc---- I love going just to watch them. And on the way home, I again got choked up about it just thankful I had the opportunity to see them introduced, stand up there with their friends, visit with their parents, to watch them while they grow. I got to visit to with a few of the girls individually and that always means the world to me; just to hear them go on about their days and what fills them.

Yesterday morning I had coffee with my dad at our little coffee place in town, yesterday afternoon I had lunch with my mom in her classroom, last night I had dinner with my aunt and uncle, and this morning I ran with my aunt/ godmom--- it's always the little things that get me and stay with me the most. Not some fancy event, but just a little quality time with people I love --- that's what I tend to carry with me when I am away; those are the pictures and special events that tend to go everywhere with me. I laugh because people think I am a good influence on them, but truth be told they are the good influences for me. Anymore it doesn't seem to matter the age of the person I am around---from 2 to 16 to 26 to 47 to 96--- I learn from everyone of all ages and I enjoy my time with people from all ranges. Even my mom's 6th graders teach me a thing or two from time-to-time. We'd be amazed at what we can learn from others if we simply opened our eyes and ears to them.