my last day in Goma

so i have made it to kigali, but to be honest, i am not terribly excited to be here. 1) i am not in Congo anymore and i had really just started to get my feet planted there, 2) it means the next few days will FLY by which i am not excited about--- but again, i wish i was in Congo, 3) it means i am leaving africa yet again and i am REALLY not ready to go, and all-n-all, i just want to stay and work.

but, nonetheless, i'll be back and i know that.

so this morning i was sitting in DOCS office, visiting with Virgine (the woman from DOCS who has been assisting me a great deal with everything) when in came her regular dosage of people asking questions, making requests and so forth. i wasn't paying a great deal of attention because usually they always speak in swahili and it has nothing to do with me. i DID however notice this woman who walked in. she had a bit of a limp about her, but what really caught my eye was her smile. she had a great smile. i stood up and greeted her in swahili, which surprised her and got an even bigger smile. i usually reach out my hand to shake theirs when they come in, but for some reason i didn't with her. as she sat down, she and Virgine started visiting back and forth and Virgine let out an "Ouuu" which is usually a sign of some kind of distress within the conversation.

i looked over at the woman and noticed she had been talking with her arms a bit as well. i say arms because she had no hands. at first it didn't catch my attention, but after a few minutes i caught myself looking a bit closer and i thought "hmm, she wasn't born that way". then she pulled up the side of her pagne/ skirt to show Virgine and i her prostetic (sp?) leg. she continued talking and even though i couldn't understand the language, i understand the situation--- which Virgine quickly relayed to me. the story was simple: her situation was due to the war.

with two children already, she had been pregnant at the time and had been shot in the stomach-- lost that child and had some internal damage. she also had both hands (from about the elbow down) and one leg cut-off; wasn't sure who her perpetrators were though. i was tempted to ask whether or not she had been sexually abused as well, but at that point--- did it really matter? she was dealing with enough and it was none of my business. since that incident, she has had two MORE children, her husband is not working OR looking for food, so she felt it was her job to figure something out, and she had nothing to feed her children with. she just wanted enough to buy some cassava to sell infront of her house, so she could get money to feed the family with. i give her credit, she was thinking of how to make it sustainable.

i looked at Virgine, a Congolese woman who sees a great deal, and thought i saw her eyes welling up a bit. the woman had started to get a little choked as she told us her story and i was definitely struck by the whole situation. i hate giving money, i always feel i should be able to do more, but we both immediately did what we could for the situation. she accepted graciously and as i sat there and watched her fumble with trying to tuck the money into her pagne (cloak), i just felt overwhelmed.

to be honest, my eyes are full and i am fighting back just writing about this (but that could possibly be because i am sorry to see my time end here so quickly). these people... they are resilient, amazing, and inspirational in more ways than i can obvioulsy put into words. if nothing else, it seems to put things into perspective.

i probably couldn't help that woman out more than i did today (although i wish i coul), however, i think she helped me more than she could EVER realize. just being there, seeing the situation, seeing the work and relief to be done (development will come once things have calmed down), meeting people like that woman today with the situation she lives everyday in--- but a smile that will definitely turn your head, meeting the people in the field, seeing the passion they have for their work... how could one not want to return?

to be a part of that, i would be more than fortunate in many ways, which i can't even begin to describe. but for one, i'd get to meet more amazing people like the woman with the killer smile.